


Fire Burning

by bafflinghaze



Category: Original Work
Genre: (or rather subversion thereof), Drama, FtM main character, Gender Dysphoria, Healing Powers, M/M, Secret Identities, Some angst, Trans Male Character, a transguy-in-the-closet has to “pretend” to be a guy, elemental powers, genderbender, hints of gay romance, magic in general, mentions of transphobia from certain other characters, “crossdressing” trope subversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bafflinghaze/pseuds/bafflinghaze
Summary: Khai suppresses his fire, pretends to be who he’s not. For when people look at Khai, they see a girl named Mai. The worst is his own adoptive aunt, who would only allow him to learn healing and not combat.After achieving his healer licence, he heads to the big city of Taesu, still pretending to be a girl, but away from his aunt’s eyes. Khai ends up meeting Quy, another young man who looks very much alike. Under Quy’s pressuring, Khai agrees to be Quy’s body-double, ““pretend”” to be a guy, and to attend Baashi University.A university, as it turns out, that has the administration-sanctioned tradition of compulsory fighting between the students. However, Khai has more than just one secret...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading Kenka Bancho Otome: Love's Battle Royale recently, among other “girl pretends to be a boy for Reasons”-like stories and my old need for a trope subversion resurfaced, _i.e._ , where the ““girl”” is actually trans.
> 
> So I finally wrote this, and I hope you’ll enjoy. Chapters will be posted weekly until completion.
> 
>   
> 

Khai sensed it immediately. The sudden flaring of fire, out of control and _hungry_. He turned sharply, the element inside him responding.

By the time Khai arrived, visible flames were licking up a multistory house. A group of people were trying to spray sand and dampen the flames.

“Hey, stop! Don’t get in the way of the mages!” a man scowled.

Khai ignored him, pushing past the men to get to the door of the house, which had been closed.

“Don’t open it, you stupid girl!”

Khai opened it. Flame rushed out, and Khai welcomed it, drew it into himself.

“Oh _shit_ , she’s a fire mage!”

As he drew the heat of the flame into himself, he could sense a different sort of flame in the building now that he was close.

 _People_.

Khai extended his awareness, and pushed his hands forward and down. Fire blinked out. With haste, he made his way through the building to where he sensed people. If he could sense them, they were _still alive_.

On the top floor, he found a mother and son. The mother had built a makeshift earth block against the flames, but the son’s breathing was all wrong.

“What?” the woman stuttered, drawing her son close. “You—”

“I’m a healer,” Khai said, drawing out his licence, and ignoring the wrong _name_ and _face_ on it. “He must have breathed in smoke. Young lungs are more susceptible.”

“Oh.” The woman finally stepped aside enough for Khai to reach the boy.

Khai called forth _heat_ to his palms and pressed them over the boy’s chest. Delicately, through the magic of his flame, Khai called away the tiny, _tiny_ particles of air-of-fire out of the boy’s lungs.

The boy’s breathing evened. “Mum?”

The woman hugged her son. “It’s fine, now.”

Footsteps up the stairs. One of the earth-element men appeared at the door way. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

The woman flashed a quick smile at Khai. “I am,” she said.

“We should get out of the building. It is no longer structurally sound,” the man said authoritatively. “Let me help your son.”

The woman shook her head. With unsurprising strength, she scooped up her son and made her way out.

The man looked pointedly at Khai. “That was _dangerous_ , young lady! Save it for _after_ you graduate from Immin and join Taesu’s firefighting unit!” He looked pointedly at Khai’s uniform.

The uniform of Immin University, Taesu’s major university for _women_.

Khai ignored the man and headed down himself.

He had been misgendered all his life, and under the stern and sharp gaze of his Healing Master-turned-adoptive aunt, there was nothing he could do about. Even now, in Taesu, _away_ from his hometown, his aunt’s reach was still felt, steering him to attend Immin instead of the co-educational Four Elements University which his aunt had deemed _unsuitable for polite young women_.

And the best way to deal with the dysphoria...was to bury its flames deep, _deep_ inside.

Khai glanced up at the sky, tracking the sun’s current position. It was time to get to Immin’s opening ceremony.

*

Quy jumped down from the rooftop from where he was watching Mai, cushioning his landing with a sharp burst of fire. His butler, Shima, landed beside him.

“She looks a lot like me, doesn’t she?” Quy said, smirking. More than just black hair and gold eyes, Mai had a similar height and build, the same echo of nose and slanted eyes. Enough of a likeness that the border officials at Taesu’s gates had gossiped about it, even joking about a long-lost daughter of Lord Quyen. And thus, Quy had _heard_.

“She does,” Shima allowed.

Quy strode to the edge of the alleyway. He knew that Mai was _just_ round the corner. “Well? Grab her.”

Shima bowed his head and obeyed.

Quy had seen it in the way Mai walked, the gait of trained combat mage. And she had dealt with the burning building _very nicely_. He turned to her as Shima hustled her into the alleyway.

And Quy smiled. He could sense the fire ready in her hands.

“Calm down, Mai,” he said, stepping a little closer. Shima blocked Mai’s exit, a ready hand on his sword. Quy stopped an arms distance away. _Corner her, but not_ too _much_. Quy smirked. “Hello, Mai. My name is Quy.” Formally, he bowed.

After a beat, Mai bowed back.

“And this is swordsman Shima,” Quy introduced. When Mai had straightened, Quy said, “Mai, you’re going to be my body double.”

Mai’s eyes narrowed. “Pardon?”

Quy tilted his head, just a little. “I know all about you, Mai. Orphan, and licensed mage healer.” He leaned in. “And an accomplished fighter.”

Fire flared in Mai, even though it was quickly subdued.

Quy smirked. “You will attend Baashi University in my place. _Renowned_ for producing master mages,” he added.

“For men,” Mai said flatly.

Quy looked her over. “You’re flat chested enough,” he said shrugging. “And we _do_ look very alike. And if you refuse, you will _quickly_ find yourself homeless. And your aunt, Healer Master Tien, will be notified.”

Mai stared at him. It was almost odd to see that gold gaze from a face so like his own. “On whose authority?”

“I am Quy, son of _Lady_ Chau and _Lord_ Quyen. You, Mai, will attend Baashi in my place. _No questions asked_.”

Mai’s eyes flickered away.

Quy let the silence stretch.

“Fine,” Mai said, the _smart_ choice.

“Good—”

“On one condition.”

Quy could almost _grin_. If Mai was _too_ pushover, she wouldn’t work well as Quy’s double. “Yes? I shall be magnanimous.”

“You pay me by the hour.”

Quy smirked, and Mai flinched. “Very well. At the proper wage for a trained mage.” He held out his hand.

Mai reached out and gripped.

Quy let just a _little_ flame dance across his palm. In this, Mai didn’t flinch.

“Mai, your work starts _immediately_.”

*

Khai tried not to stare at the large letters emblazing _Baashi University_. Tried not to shift in the new Baashi uniform.

Was aware that _Quy and Shima_ were watching him.

 _Quy, son of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen_.

At first, it _sounded_ as though Quy just didn’t want to attend university. But then, Quy had mentioned _maintaining his reputation_ and attaining a _favourable rank_.

Khai checked that his magic was _there_ , and stepped through the entrance of Baashi University.

The university was ringed by thick earth-brick walls, whitewashed smooth and painted. On the inside, however, Khai could make out the pockmarks of damage from fighting.

Khai’s jaw tightened. Yes, he _had_ heard that Baashi produced many powerful master mages. But beyond that, he didn’t know _how_.

There were numerous other young men dressed like him. Carefully avoiding eye contact, Khai headed towards the largest building which Kahi suspected was _Baashi Hall_ , where the opening ceremony for the new students was supposed to be held. He flinched when someone bumped into him. Quickly, he stepped aside, and caught his voice just in time to give a low, “Sorry,” instead of a high pitched one.

But the man, instead of letting it go, turned around and narrowed his eyes at Khai. He grabbed Khai’s shoulder. “Wait. What are you doing here? Dressed like a _man_?”

Khai quickly glanced up. The man had dark hair, darker skin, and the bright blue eyes of a water mage.

Khai had known a water mage, once, years ago when he was still back in Karashu. But this man was not familiar. And even if he was, Khai was here as _Quy_.

Khai bowed his head. “You’ve mistaken me.” He shook off the man’s grip.

He could feel the weight of the mage’s gaze. With relief, Khai stepped into Baashi Hall. And cursed inwardly.

Inside, there was mayhem.

The hall was enormous: the floor dipped down stairs to a flat arena below, as the walls vaulted up into a decadent glass ceiling that let in the sunlight. At the very far end of the hall was another raised dais, flanked by two arcing waterfalls. And there was group of old male mages sitting there, watching the fighting happening below them.

Khai exhaled. Quy had _known_ about this. But he hadn’t told _Khai_.

 _Body double indeed_.

Khai eyed the fighting below. It was a mess, more akin to a _battle field_ than orderly dueling to form ranks.

Behind him, the doors opened, and two men stepped through.

One of them eyed Khai, nudging his companion. “Heh, look at what they let in.”

The other grinned. “Yeah, shouldn’t you be in school, kid?”

Khai’s jaw tightened. Subtly, he started calling the energy from the sunlight towards him, mixing in with the _fire_ he had caught from earlier that day.

One man cricked his neck. “Well, let’s give those old men a show, eh?” With a kick of his foot, the earth below Khai’s feet buckled and jumped and _threw him backward down into the arena_.

Heart in throat, Khai flipped, blasting out fire to soften his landing on the earth below. The two men jumped down after him, calling earth to them. In unison, they stepped forward. Earth rock sharpened whistling towards Khai.

Khai gritted his teeth, brought his hands together ready to propel himself back into the air, where he could then blast them from above—

A huge earth wall rose from the ground, rushing back and slamming the two men against the wall of the arena.

“Two against one?” A mage, arms out, stepped towards the men. “Try fighting someone your own size!” With a twist of his hands, earth rose and locked them. With that, he turned to Khai, smiling encouragingly. “Hey, are you alright? I’m Han.”

Khai bowed his head. “Thank you, Han. My name is Quy.”

Han made a choked sound. “Quy, son of Lord Quyen?”

Khai glanced up. “Yes.” Khai wondered exactly _who_ was Lord Quyen.

Han took a half-step back, and said, “We should fight and determine which of us is stronger.”

Khai took a half-step back. “If you wish.”

“You don’t want to fight?” Han’s voice had climbed into confusion.

“Only when I have to,” Khai admitted. He clenched his fists together. _And given his contract with Quy, he had to_. Khai bowed formally. “I am Quy, son of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen. I accept your challenge.”

After a beat, Han bowed back. “Han, son of Ta and Lang. Thank you for your acceptance.”

Khai punched a sharp line of fire.

Han slashed up, and earth shielded him. With a smooth movement, he propelled it towards Khai.

The earth trembled beneath Khai’s feet. _Unsteady, and a weapon in the hands of an earth mage_. Khai jumped, kicking out. Fire burst across the room, sending watchers scattering.

Khai felt the unnerving sense of the gaze of those old male mages. Khai clenched, then forcefully relaxed his jaw. He’ll given them a _fight_ to remember.

Sharpened rock hurtled towards him. Khai jumped, twisted, dodged, ignoring when he got hit as he called heat and _warmth_ and _sunlight_ towards him. The air rapidly chilled, ice forming across the waterfall pools, ice slicking the earth and locking it harder.

Han stepped forward, feet moving in an earth spell. And slipped. “What the—”

Khai raised his hands, and pillars of fire rose with him, arcing into a cage around Han. Han immediately tugged earth towards him. Khai punched, and flame singed the top of Han’s hair. And with his other hand, Khai slowly closed into an almost-fist. And the pillars of fire closed in too.

Han’s eyes widened, breathing heavily.

Khai stepped up to him, the fire parting easily just for him.

Han’s head lowered. “You win.”

Khai exhaled, and the flames dissipated, and heat returned to the hall. He held out a hand to Han. “That was a good match.”

Han shivered, his earth shield crumbling. After a beat, he took Khai’s hand. “Yes.”

Khai nodded. With the heat of the fight fading away, he could feel people _looking_ at them.

A bone-weary sense of dysphoria climbed up his spine, even though he _knew_ it was stupid. It made him feel _wrong_.

Khai turned to the crowd. “Who else?” he called out recklessly. Fighting would stop him _thinking_. He left Han behind and called fire to his fists.

*

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , Khai growled at himself as he walked away from Baashi, body aching and fire burning in fits and starts.

By the time those old men had called the ceremony over, Khai had fought half-a-dozen more opponents. And his body and his clothes showed for it, soggy with mud from earth and water mages.

 _Quy better be satisfied. And he better pay the mage rate like he_ promised _._

Finding a hidden alleyway, Khai did his best to dry the mud and brush off the worst of it before he headed to the apartment he was staying at.

He became apprehensive when he saw the landlady. He’d just paid his rent a few days ago, she _shouldn’t_ be here now.

“About time you’re back, Mai!” the landlady scowled. She crossed her arms. “Pack your things _immediately_.”

Khai’s mood plumented. “Pardon, ma’am?”

The landlady snorted. “Don’t argue back! Get your things out and don’t bother me again!”

Khai gritted his teeth. “What about my rent?”

“For all the trouble you caused me today?” She scoffed. “Not at all!”

Fire rolled in Khai’s belly, licked at his skin. Quickly, he packed up his meagre belongings into his pack. The landlady followed closely behind, and the moment he stepped out onto the street again, she slammed the door shut.

Khai scanned the street. He needed to find Quy _immediately_. He needed the money.

Then, he spotted swordsman Shima.

Fire flared. _Trouble? Quy was the trouble!_ Khai stalked over, leveling a dark look at Quy who emerged from behind Shima.

Quy had the gall to _smirk_. “Good afternoon, Mai. Good work at Baashi today. I’ve decided that we’ll be living together. It’ll be much easier to coordinate our movements.”

Khai looked at Quy. Quy was wearing the Immin uniform, and he had a long black wig.

Quy tugged at his uniform. “Pretty, isn’t it? I attended Immin in your place. It is much more refined and calming.”

Khai drew back a little. Quy didn’t seem _fussed_ wearing it. Did that mean…? But Khai couldn’t bring himself to ask what pronouns Quy wanted. It would be too _telling_. He’d have to use neutral pronouns.

“Fine,” Khai said. “Where am I staying?”

Quy tossed back _their_ hair. “Follow me.”

The house was in a nicer district in Taesu, with its own courtyard built for fire mages in mind. Quy showed all the different spacious rooms, commenting deprecatingly as though they were rather small and lacking.

“And this is your room,” Quy said, opening the door to the last room on the top floor. “Bathroom through there—it would not be proper to share a bathroom with me. Your _payment_ is on the desk. Shima will be cooking dinner, so make sure you come down to eat. I can’t have my body double fainting from hunger.”

Khai bowed. “Thank you.”

Quy smirked. “I _knew_ you would be _good_.” They turned and walked back downstairs.

 _Good!_ Quy sounded like his damn aunt, telling him to be a _good girl_.

Khai stripped off his dirty clothes, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the taps. Only after he had heated the bath to burning hot did he take off his binder and slip into the water.

At least it was just one day. Tomorrow, Baashi had lectures. There was no fighting for Khai to do, and he could attend Immin instead.

*

The next morning, Quy appeared at Khai’s bedroom holding up a fresh Baashi uniform, smirking.

“Ready, Mai?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any SPaG mistakes, feel free to point them out :)
> 
> You can find me over at [bafflinghaze@tumblr](bafflinghaze.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

When Han had spotted Quy across from the arena on the first day, he had thought that Quy looked small. He had seen how those two mages had knocked Quy down, and it hadn’t seemed right.

As it turned out, Han had been so _stupid_ for assuming that Quy against those two mages wasn’t a fair fight.

Instead, Quy had fought Han, and _defeated_ him. And went on to beat all his next opponents with a grim determination.

Han could lie to himself. He could say that it was because Quy was a _fire mage_ , and fire mages just had a natural offensive advantage. But Quy’s attacks hadn’t been deadly, despite the sharp arcs of fire, despite the fact that _sunlight_ seem to bend to his will.

When the ceremony ended, the other mages clumped together in new and old friendship groups.

Quy’s back as he walked away looked lonely.

Han was on his own too, but that was different. All of Han’s old friends were too practical to attend even more school, and Han himself was on a half-scholarship to attend Baashi at all. It made him a class down from other students. And after being defeated by Quy, Han’s standing had plummeted.

Quy was the son of Lord Quyen. He was _meant_ to have followers. But after the fighting at the opening ceremony, the other students stayed away from Quy. And so Quy attended lectures on his own.

*

A few days after the opening ceremony, Han spotted Quy from across the training field, sitting in the sun by himself.

Impulsively, Han walked over. “Good noon, Quy,” he called out.

Quy rose to his feet, and bowed. “Good noon, Han.”

“Mind if I…?” Han motioned to the ground.

Quy shook his head, and sat back down. Han sat across from him and took out his own lunch.

Quy looked away. “I can heat that up for you.”

Han blinked, completely blindsided. “Do fire mages do that?”

Quy held out his hand, and curious, Han handed his metal lunchbox over. Heat wavered the air around Quy’s hands, the scent of food lifted into the air. When Quy handed it back, it was warm-hot.

 _Oh_. “Thanks,” Han said.

“You’re welcome,” Quy murmured, and went back to his own food.

Han studied him up close. Quy’s features were soft, gold eyes resolutely looking away. Neither of them talked as they ate.

The sun shifted in the sky, and Quy looked up. “My next lecture begins soon. All the best, Han.”

It sounded final. And Quy’s back, walking away, looked as lonely as ever.

*

Khai felt as though everything was wrong. It didn’t help that Quy, still dressed up in the Immin uniform at the dinner table, seemed so _bright_ and pleased with themself.

Khai startled when Quy glared at him.

“And _you_ , Mai. Your performance has been _lacking_. You are meant to be the son of Lord Quyen, not a _loner_. Make connections. _Fight_ some more first years and secure _my place_ as the top ranking first year.”

Khai couldn’t be bothered to change his expression. “Yes, Quy.”

Quy’s eyes narrowed. “See that you do so, Mai. You were doing _so well_ on the first day.”

“I won’t disappoint you.”

Quy tilted their head. “See that you don’t. Ah, Shima, for breakfast tomorrow, I want—”

Khai left the table, appetite gone, and went up to his bedroom.

Feeling _wrong_ all the time had not helped Khai to make friends back at the orphanage. When his fire affinity manifested, and Mage Healer Tien took him in to teach him healing, a _respectable mage career_ _for a girl_ , friends had been even harder to come by.

Tien had ultimately adopted him as aunt and niece, as it was easier to teach Khai that way without having to return him to the orphanage everyday before curfew. And so what little people he knew his age dissipated, and there was only Master Tien and a rotating round of patients.

Khai had learnt combat magic in secret from a fire mage who pretended to be an air mage. She, and her partner, were also pretending to be straight among other things. They’d taught him their unique style. They’d taught him that he wasn’t alone. But they were back at Karashu.

Now, he was alone.

When Khai got to his bedroom, he stripped off. Pulled his binder tighter, and put on his most utilitarian clothes. He climbed out the window, and left.

He needed—he needed to _do something_. He headed to the lower districts. He’d find _some_ thing there.

Unlike the mage-fire lighting other upper districts, the poorer parts of Taesu were lit with flickering candles and flames in lanterns. Children played on the streets, and mustering up his courage, telling himself that _it doesn’t matter they’ll forget me anyway_ , Khai headed to the owner of a dumpling shop.

“How may I help you?” she asked. “You’re new round here.”

Khai looked down. “I’m a mage healer. Arrived at Taesu just a few days ago. I was wondering if...”

The woman sucked a breath. “A _mage_ healer? No offence, boy, but what are you doing down here?”

“It’s—” Khai’s stomach dropped. “Never mind.”

“Wait!”

It wasn’t the shop owner that called out though. It was one of the patrons, a woman. The woman from the burning building.

“Aren’t you the g—the fire mage from the other day?”

Khai suppressed the urge to slouch further to hide his chest. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Looking for healing work? Most of us down here are too poor to afford a mage healer.” She looked at the children playing, and Khai followed her gaze. One of them was her son.

Khai bowed his head deeper. “I don’t need coin. It’s fine, I’ll just go.”

The woman rose to her feet, catching Khai’s arm. “No, please. What’s our name? If you’re willing, we could use your help.” Her tone was warm.

Khai sucked in breath, his chest aching. “It’s Khai.”

The second time he had ever said it outloud. The first time was to his secret combat trainer, who _knew_ , who was like him in the other way.

The woman patted him. “You’re so young. My name is Yang. We have more than a few elderly and children for you to see. Minh,” she called out to her son. “Come, we are visiting your grandmother.” She wrapped a warm arm around Khai. “Minh, this is Khai. He helped us with the fire, remember? He healed your lungs.”

Khai blinked, swallowed.

Minh looked up at him, eyes wide. “Hello.” He quickly ducked to hide behind his mother.

Yang gave an exasperated sigh. She dropped the arm around Khai and picked up her son. “Minh’s grandmother is this way.”

Khai let some heat skim across his skin, and followed. Yang filled the air with soft talking about the district, about what ailed Minh’s grandmother, among many other things, and Khai let it comfort him.

*

As sleep deprived as he was, Khai felt better. He held his head up higher as he approached Baashi University.

The water mage that had bumped into him on the first day was standing at the front entrance, and he started towards Khai when their eyes accidentally met.

“ _Mai_ ,” the mage said. “You keep coming back. It’s not the place for you! Why are you here?”

 _Who is he? How does he_ know _?_

Khai took an even breath. “Sorry, you must be mistaken. I’m Quy, son of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen,” Khai said, bowing deeply. ”My apologies, but I don’t know your name.”

The man’s frown deepened. “Song, adopted son of Colonel Maru. You’re—you’re not Mai? You’re too thin for a man.”

 _Adopted? Was he at the orphanage?_ Khai thought, ignoring the jab. He bowed again. “Pleasure to meet you, Song, son of Colonel Maru.”

Song bowed back. “And I you, Quy, son of Lord Quyen. My apologies for bothering you. All the best for your time here at Baashi. And be careful... _Quy_.” He gave Khai one last frown, and turned away.

Khai quickly glanced around to see if anyone was watching. Those who were looked away, except for Han, who was rapidly approaching.

“Quy…”

Khai inclined his head. “Good morning, Han.”

Han glanced at the receding back of Song. “You know him?”

Khai shook his head.

Han frowned. “Really? He’s one of the two _best_ second years at Baashi.”

“I see,” Khai said heavily. If so, Khai might have to fight Song under Quy’s orders.

Han grimaced, and then patted Khai on the back. “Don’t worry, he won’t bother us first years. You’re attending the Advanced Magical Theory lecture too, right?”

Khai frowned a little. “Yes.”

“Let’s go then.”

A bit dumbfounded, Khai followed along.

For some unknown reason, Han remained close by Khai’s side throughout the day. He half hoped that whatever _spies_ Quy had on him, that this would be _enough_ to count.

*

Despite himself, Khai felt Han’s absence during one of the lectures that Han wasn’t enrolled in. Afterwards, Khai emerged out of the lecture hall to see a large group of people clustered around one of the main training grounds at Baashi.

Rocks flew through the air, and then a person— _Han_ —was thrown through the air too.

Khai quickly pushed through the crowd as it roared. Han fought back. His style was _good_ , it was rough and effective, and unlike the highly trained movements of Han’s opponent.

But Han wasn’t good enough, and he was thrown up into the air for the second time, and came down, heavy, knocked and winded by his opponent’s attacks.

“And _Raah_ is the winner!”

The crowd converged upon Raah, leaving Khai to battle against the other students to reach Han. He was conscious, barely so, bleeding, and bruised all over.

Khai quickly glanced behind him. No one was paying attention to them just yet.

“What happened?” Khai asked quietly. He drew healing fire magic to his hands and pressed them against Han’s torso at the worst of the damage.

“Saw me ‘round you. Said I was weak.” Han grimaced. “I lost.”

“You need more training,” Khai said distractedly. He moved his hands to Han’s arms, then his legs.

Han sighed, then tensed. He propped himself up. “Quy, what—”

Khai waited until the major healing was done before withdrawing his hands and his flame.

Han’s eyes were wide. “You’re a _healer_.”

“ _Please_ don’t tell.”

“Why—” Han’s eyes flickered over Khai’s shoulder, just as a foot pressed down on Khai’s back.

“Showed your face, hey?”

Khai stood up and turned around. “Hello,” he said politely. “I’m Quy. You are?”

The other mage narrowed his eyes. “I’m Raah. The top ranking first year.”

“You hurt Han.”

Raah shrugged. “Maybe if he admitted his weakness. Your battles a few days ago have been _massively_ overrated. People see _fire_ and they get all _scared_.”

Khai tilted his head back. “Let’s fight.”

“Quy—!” Han started.

Raah smirked. “ _Exactly_ what I wanted to hear.”

Khai maintained eye contact with Raah. “It’s fine, Han.”

“Jin!” Raah called out. “Next duel is happening _now_ against Quy, son of Lord Quyen.”

Another earth mage, Jin immediately got the crowd back out of the training ground dueling area. He also acted as arbiter, directing Khai and Raah to bow. And then the fight begun.

Raah moved first, rocks hurtling towards Khai so fast they made a keening sound in the air. Khai twisted, blasted fire to push himself over the attack. Drawing fire burning in his gut, Khai kicked out.

Fire seared through the air.

Raah blocked with a rock shield, immediately breaking it up afterwards into projectiles against Khai—

Khai kicked out again, this time using the fire to propel him towards Raah. Moving his hands in smooth motions, he trailed fire into a magic spell that called forth a flame dragon, jaws that opened _wide_ as they came towards Raah.

Another earth wall appeared, but this time, Khai gritted his teeth and _pulled the fire through_ , pulled the flame through the tiniest little gaps in the earth, through the earth itself. For all that it was a good insulator, earth could conduct _if pushed hard enough_.

Growling, Raah threw up an rock tent, thick and thicker.

Khai burned the earth. Burned it until it was more fire than earth, until it became liquid _lava_ that oozed and sizzled and spat and revealed Raah’s face.

Khai lit a flame along the side of his hand. “Do you concede?”

Raah’s eyes flickered, and Khai cringed at the sudden battering attack of rock. He plunged his hand into the hot earth and poured energy into it, until the lava reached in _deep_. Some of this earth was lava, long, long long ago. He just had to _remind_ it.

Air became hot, and Khai breathed in deeply.

The crowd roared.

Slowly, Khai used pushed the lava closer, hovering it over Raah’s skin. “Do you concede?”

Raah flinched, and his clothes burned.

“Quy is the winner,” Jin immediately shouted, dashing over. “Just get Raah out of there!”

Khai extinguished the flame, and Jin grabbed chunks of cooling earth and broke Raah out.

“A good match,” Khai said politely, holding out a hand.

Raah leaned against Jin, curling his lip. “Looks like you’re the top ranking first year now. Must be nice to be Lord Quyen’s son.”

 _Is it really?_ Quy didn’t seem to talk about Lord Quyen very much. Khai glanced down at Raah’s wound.

The clothes had completely burned away, and his skin was red and raw.

Khai stepped closer.

Jin scowled. “What do you want?”

“Cover me from the crowd.” Khai called forth heat and pressed his hands against Raah’s side until the red faded away.

Raah hissed.

Jin’s mouth dropped opened. “You’re a _healer_?”

“No,” Khai lied. “I know how to treat fire burns. For obvious reasons.”

Jin didn’t look convinced. Raah was definitely _not_ convinced. Gingerly, he ran a hand over his new skin.

After a few moments, Raah looked up. “So. You’re honourable after all. We’ll keep it quiet.”

Khai bowed. “Thank you.”

Raah bowed back, and forced Jin to bow too. After that, the two headed off, dispersing the crowd. Khai could hear Raah pointedly announcing that “Quy” was the top first year now.

 _The_ real _Quy better hear about this_. Khai walked over to where Han was standing.

“You were using _earth_ ,” Han said. “ _How_?”

“I _heated_ up the earth until I could use my fire magic. But just because you’re an earth mage doesn't mean you must only use earth—remember advanced magic theory? In the end, it’s all atoms.”

But Han shook his head. “Yeah, sure, but you were against _Raah_ , and he’s a earth mage. You were at a disadvantage to use earth.” He suddenly gave a weird smile. “I feel a bit better, to be honest. You really are one of the best. I’m not just weak.”

“You need more training,” Khai repeated.

Han shrugged helplessly. “And from where? I learnt fighting by fighting on the streets, and a tiny bit of instruction from my district mage overseers to make sure I didn’t wreck the streets accidentally. I don’t have money to hire a trainer, and what master mage would want _me_ as an apprentice? I’m not a noble.”

“From me. If you’re willing.” Khai tried to hit the point between casual and serious.

Han shook his head.

Khai’s stomach sank. “That’s fine. Your next lecture is soon.” Khai glanced up the sky.

Han nodded. “Thanks. I’ll see you around, Quy.”

Khai raised a hand in farewell. And from the distance, he saw Han speaking with Raah and Jin, and the three of them headed into one of the buildings together.

*

“Good work, Mai,” Quy said, from their lounging position in the living room. They were soaking up the last rays of the sun.

After a moment, Khai remembered, and said, “Thank you.”

Quy sat up, an eyebrow raising. “But don’t slack off, now. Earn your keep, body double of mine.”

“Then don’t count the hours I’m in a lecture,” Khai said coldly. “Oh, don’t expect me down for dinner.” He stomped up to his room, ignoring Quy’s snort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing fight scenes is hard 😅


	3. Chapter 3

Chest tight, Khai headed down to the lower districts.

“Ah, healer!” one of the old men, sitting outside a tea shop drinking tea, waved him over.

Khai bowed. “Good afternoon, sir.”

The man’s eyes crinkled. “If only young men these days were as polite as you! I heard from Noy that you visited her last night with Mage Yang. You wouldn’t mind looking at this old man’s back, would you?”

Shoving away thoughts about Quy and Baashi, Khai nodded. “Of course. If you can turn a little in your chair.”

The old man compiled, and he thumped the table, calling out, “Oi! Thon! Fetch the healer a cup of tea would you?”

“Ugh, fine, old man!” a voice from inside the tea shop yelled back.

Khai pressed his hands together, drawing heat and magic, and pressed them firmly against the man’s spine. He eased the muscles, strengthened the bone, and encouraged the nerves to heal and recover.

The old man sighed with relief. “Never seen a fire healer before, but you’re a damn fine one, grandson,” he said happily.

Khai smiled despite himself. “Thank you, sir. I recommend walking more often.”

“Ah! Noy’s always talking about Tai Chi.”

Khai’s smile turned into a grin. “It would do you good,” he admitted.

The old man chuckled.

“Hey, your tea,” a young man—Thon—said, setting down a teapot and cup.

The old man wriggled and stretched his back, and sat back properly on the chair. “Thon, this is the new healer round these parts. You better show him hospitality,” the old man chided. He nudged at Khai. “Go on, drink the tea. Thon’s good at making tea, even if it’s the _only_ thing he’s good at.”

“Old man!” Thon protested. The old man just grinned.

Hiding a smile, Khai poured out some tea and took a sip. He nodded to Thon. “It’s very good tea, thank you.”

Thon shrugged. “Right, I better get back to work—”

The old man snorted. “Work? Traffic is _slow_. Sit, Thon, talk to this nice healer. Maybe you’ll learn some manners!”

Khai winced. “It’s fine.”

“I’m _busy_ ,” Thon complained.

“Tch,” the old man said. Their attention turned to an older woman approaching their table.

“Ah, you are the healer, yes?” she asked.

Khai stood up. “Yes. Healer Khai,” he said, bowing.

The woman gave a smile of relief. “Do you mind helping? My daughter is not feeling well…”

“Of course, ma’am.” Khai bowed to the old man and Thon, and followed the woman on what would be just the second healing of many he would do that evening.

*

Han’s house was empty.

His father was away on merchant business, and his mother and sister were at a weekly event. There was no food in the pantry, and so tiredly, Han rummaged around the house for loose coins and headed to the market.

Oddly, there was a group of people clustered around one of the bordering tea shops: chatting quietly, but a group nonetheless. It was Thon’s, Han realised as he got closer. Guiltily, he realised that he hadn’t talked to Thon since he started at Baashi University.

Han skirted the crowd and headed inside the tea shop. “Thon!” he called out.

Thon straightened from behind the shop counter. “Han, long time no see.”

Han rubbed the back of his neck. “Been busy with Baashi.”

“Ah-huh. C’mere, let me fix you a cup of tea.”

Han took a seat by on the counter. “Looks like business is busy.”

Thon pulled a face. “I guess so. The old man’s being a pain in the ass.”

Han grinned. “Shouldn’t you be more polite towards your grandfather?”

“Nah,” Thon said immediately. “What’s it like prancing around Baashi with the nobles?”

Han shrugged. “It’s fine. Met some interesting people.” He immediately thought of Quy, but also Raah and Jin, who had both turned out surprisingly fine.

There was the sudden sound of a fist against wood. “Oi! Thon! Fetch us some treats!” came a shout.

Thon pulled a face, even as he started to pile on baked goods onto a tray. “Ugh. Speaking of interesting people, the old man’s been hanging with the new healer for _hours_. Mage Yang found him yesterday—don’t ask me how, but the old man’s basking in the celebrity.”

Han sucked in a breath. “ _Healer?_ ”

“A fire mage healer, can you believe it? We barely even get earth mages round here.” Thon shook his head and went round the counter.

Tense, Han stood up too. “What’s the healer’s name?”

Thon wrinkled his nose. “Khai, I think.”

Han relaxed, disappointed.

“Want to meet him?” Thon headed out of the tea shop, and Han followed him out. “Coming through!” Thon shouted.

The crowd parted. And Han’s heart jumped into his throat.

It was Quy. Clothed differently, hair styled differently. But Quy’s eyes were unmistakable. The sense of Quy’s _fire_ was unmistakable.

“Old man!” Thon was saying. “Han’s here!”

Thon’s grandfather grinned. “Han! Our very own Baashi boy! Come here, come here.”

Han barely dared to look at Quy. “Hello, Mr. Kiri.”

Thon’s grandfather ushered one of the crowd to pull up a chair for Han. “Here’s another mage your age! Healer Khai been helping us out. Khai, this is Han.”

Quy’s eyes dropped down.

“Nice to meet you, Khai,” Han said stiffly.

“And I you,” Quy returned just as stiffly. He turned back to the person he was treating, saying, “If you can afford it, try to eat some more citrus fruits.”

Thon’s grandfather turned his eyes on Han. “Tell us about Baashi! We want to hear!”

Han’s glanced to Thon in alarm, but Thon was quickly escaping.

Resigned, Han turned his head so that Quy in the corner of his eye, as he told Thon’s grandfather about the fancy magic of Baashi.

*

“Kiri! What are you doing?”

Han turned with relief to the newcomer, Yang, with her son Minh on her hip.

“Keeping these kids from their dinner,” Yang scolded.

Thon’s grandfather gulped. “How time flies!”

Yang rolled her eyes and turned to Han. “Han, your mother must be worried.”

Han hid a wince. “My mother and sister are out tonight.”

Yang pursed her lips. “Khai, have you had dinner?”

Han’s gaze was unwillingly dragged towards ‘Khai’. His stomach felt heavy when he realised just how tired Quy looked. While Han and Thon’s grandfather had talked, there had been a steady stream of people coming to see Quy, and Han had vaguely heard Quy promising to visit homes later for those too sick to move.

Quy shook his head. “No, ma’am.”

“Call me Yang,” Yang scolded. “Well. If your guardians don’t mind, you’re coming over to my home for dinner. You too, Han.” Her voice was stern.

And that was how Han found himself seated at Yang’s dinner table, quietly entertaining Minh as Yang cooked and Quy stood near the cooking flames.

“Don’t extend yourself,” Yang was saying to Quy. “I won’t have you collapsing.”

“I know,” Quy replied quietly. “Something. Happened today, that’s all. I’ll be fine with tomorrow’s sunrise.”

 _The fight with Raah?_ Han thought. But Quy had looked _fine_ after that—it was Raah who was worse off.

“Han! Show me again!” Minh demanded.

Han sighed and cast the earth spell again that made little rock figurines moved.

The dinner itself was quiet. Afterwards, once everything was cleaned up, Quy bowed to Yang.

“Thank you for dinner, but I must get going.”

Yang’s eyes narrowed. “Going where? You’re not going home, are you?”

“I _promised_. There are those I need to see.”

Yang pursed her lips. “Han, if I may ask you a favour?”

Han startled. “Yes?”

“Do you mind looking after Minh for a few hours? He really should get to sleep soon, while I go out with Khai.”

Minh grinned. “I want big brother Han!”

Han scrubbed Minh’s hair. “Sure.”

*

It was late by the time Yang returned, without Quy.

Han had put Minh to bed a few hours ago, and he himself had ended up with Yang’s small collection of books.

“Minh?” Yang asked.

“Asleep.” Han closed the book he was skimming over.

Yang smiled gratefully. “Thanks. But Han…”

Han looked up at her.

“There’s something between you and Khai, isn’t there? You’re not—it’s not because he’s a healer, is it?”

Han quickly shook his head. “No, it’s just...I know him,” Han admitted.

Yang’s eyes narrowed. “From... _hmm_.”

“And I don’t understand what he’s doing down _here_. Amongst _us_.”

Yang sighed, and scrubbed Han’s hair. Han ducked away from the motion reflexively.

Yang withdrew her hand and sighed again. “Han...regardless of who Khai is, sometimes things are as simple as they seem. Better than waiting for the district council healers to come by once a month.”

“But what if he _stops_?”

Yang patted Han. “Then we go back to our previous cadence. But we would be healthier for it.”

Han looked down, scrunched his hands into fists. “He’s a _noble_.”

“Despite so, there are good and bad people among all the classes. Han, go home, go to bed and have a refreshing sleep.”

Han nodded, throat tight.

“And come back for dinner tomorrow, if your mother allows it. Minh likes you.”

Han’s head whipped up. “I, I don’t know if she would.”

“We can talk about earth magic, if you would like an excuse. But nonetheless, my home is open,” Yang said gently. “Have a good night, Han.”

“Good night, Yang.”

With this stomach rolling, Han went home, to a house that was dark, his mother and sister in bed and no candle to await for his return.

*

The next day, Han woke up remembering Quy’s face, lips downturned. And he decided.

*

Khai ate breakfast silently. Quy was looking at him from across the table, eyes narrowed.

“Where did you go last night?” Quy asked.

“Out.”

“Wearing _my_ face.”

Khai looked up. “No. Wearing _mine_.”

“You look tired, body double of mine.”

“I’m working hard. As you said.”

Quy snorted. “Is that so?”

Coins, that Khai had counted out for the hours he’d spent during lectures, sat in a pile in the middle of the table.

Khai stood up. “Have a good day at Immin, Quy. Thank you for breakfast, Shima.”

Shima silently handed Khai a lunch box. Khai bowed, and thanked him again.

And Khai headed out.

At Baashi University, the other students were looking at him, he just _knew_ it. Han didn’t seem to be around. Not that Khai expected it, after _last night_. Khai had spent sleepless time after trying to come up with a good cover story, but there was only so much lying Khai could bear.

It didn’t matter, anyway. Han didn’t talk to Khai at all during the day; and Khai only briefly spotted him a few times, head turned towards Raah and Jin in conversation.

And Khai tried to ignore the tightness in his chest as he sat alone, again.

*

At was with relief that the day ended, and Khai was more than ready to escape. Maybe to see Yang and the others again...

However, a large group of air mages clustered at the front gate, and as Khai approached the gate to leave, those mages moved and hemmed him in. Khai tried to turn, stumbling back at a sudden blast of air.

Khai scowled, hands curling into fists.

The tallest of the air mages stepped forward, grey-eyed and hair in tight curls. “They say you’re the top ranking first year,” he said, smiling pleasantly. “I would dispute it. Being the leader of the first years is _more_ than just barbaric fighting skills. Let us do this without fighting. My friends and are _much_ more suited being the representatives of Baashi.”

“Don’t underestimate him,” was Han’s voice.

Khai twisted around. Han, Raah and Jin approached him, and Han came to stand on one side of Khai, and Raah and Jin on the other. Something clogged in Khai’s throat. What was _Han_ doing here?

Raah shrugged one shoulder. “You can be the little leader of your little air-headed clique if you wish, Tao.”

The tallest air mage, Tao, twitched. “Defeated by this little fire mage here, and you’re feeling it, don’t you?” Tao said, his tone still pleasant. But a chill wind blew about them.

Khai refrained from heating the air again, and gave a slight shake of his head. “We either agree on a mutual alliance. Or we duel. I cannot give up my rank.” And he wouldn’t mind a fight right now to get his mind off the weird feelings in his chest.

But Han stepped forward, magic pulsing. “You’d have to fight _me_ first. No point wasting Quy’s time with someone inferior.”

Khai whipped his head towards him. “Han—”

Han glared back at him. “You need to conserve your strength for _more important things_.” He gave Khai a meaningful look.

Khai swallowed.

“And you’re not important, Tao,” Raah added.

Tao sighed. “You’ve forced my hand. Let us fight.” He shrugged. “I’ll take you two blind _dirt mages_ at once. I rather not waste me time, you see.”

Raah and Han shot each other looks. “If you insist,” Raah smirked.

Jin grabbed Khai’s arm, keeping him in place as Han and Raah moved off to the training field.

“Let them do this,” Jin said. “They’re good mages. Even Han,” he added.

Khai narrowed his eyes as the fight started. But, surprisingly, Han and Raah moved together, two different beats that synchronised. Han controlled the ground as Raah threw projectiles in the air, battling against Tao’s control of the wind. Tao couldn’t land without being attacked, and the air was filled with sharpened rock.

“ _Why?_ ”

Jin frowned. “You don’t know? Han approached us. Wanted Raah to help improve his form, and the two spoke.” He shrugged.

Khai nodded tightly.

“But you’re a _healer_ ,” Jin added, quietly. “I can respect that. Most combat mages can’t heal.”

Khai grimaced. “Or perhaps most mage healers can’t fight.”

Jin gave him a curious look, but Khai shook his head.

 _I’m not un-lucky_ , Khai suddenly realised, as Han and Raah defeated Tao. The two of them clapped each other on the backs and swaggered back towards Khai and Jin.

“Easy,” Han boasted.

“ _Why_?” Khai asked, despite himself.

Han gave him a level look. “ _Because_.”

“How can I repay you?”

Raah scowled. “Quy. It’s not about payment and favours. This is about being _honourable_. We can’t have any riff-raff thinking they can take you on. You’re the top ranking first year. And I’m standing with you.”

“There are still factions amongst the first years. It’s natural, of course,” Jin said. “But we believe _you_ are the best person to stand with.” He shrugged. “We’re _your_ faction.”

“This is hardly a war zone, or the courts,” Khai said, frowning.

Raah raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it? You’re your own man, Quy. Stand.”

Overcome, Khai bowed. “Then I accept.” He startled when someone slapped his shoulder.

“Head up,” Han said. “We hope that this will be _more_ than Baashi.”

“ _Yes_.” The flame in Khai’s core burned higher.


	4. Chapter 4

_Because out of all the other first years, I could follow you_ , Han hadn’t said to Quy when Quy had asked _why_.

After Quy left to go incognito-healing, Han had gotten Raah to help him some more training. Yang’s offer sat at the back of his mind, but somehow, he didn’t want to intrude on Quy’s work down at the lower districts. And he didn’t want to anger his mother.

Deep inside, he was half afraid that it’ll be too awkward. Could they _really_ pretend to not know each other down there? And what if Han slipped, and said “Quy” instead of “Khai”?

The week passed quickly. Between Han, Raah and Jin keeping an eye out for the other factions, and the occasional scuffle, it seemed like the other groups had mostly calmed down.

And Han once again found himself in the same predicament: mother and sister gone, and no food in the house. So Han ventured out to Thon’s tea shop, but there was no crowd.

“Eh, Han? Good evening, boy!”

Han nodded to Thon’s grandfather. “Good evening, Mr. Kiri.” Han’s eyes slid around.

Thon’s grandfather chuckled. “Looking for young Khai, hey? He’s a sweet boy.”

Han spluttered. “Well, I—”

“Ach, he’s over at the Fountains. Said he should be studying, but the kids have him lighting water on fire.”

“ _What_?”

The old man shrugged. “So I heard.”

“You haven’t seen it?”

“I’ve been sitting here, haven’t I?”

“Han!” Thon yelled out. “Take the old man and _go!_ ”

“Well, Mr. Kiri?” Han said apologetically. “I could move the earth beneath your chair.”

The man grumbled. “Help me stand,” he said instead. “Khai keeps pestering me about _walking_ and all.”

“He _is_ a healer,” Han said. He helped Mr. Kiri up, and they slowly walked to the Water Fountains.

 _Water on fire_ was clearly an exaggeration, Han realised when he saw it. It was more like _light_ in water, and light was heat—heat Quy could control.

Quy’s book bag was set aside, forgotten, as kids jumped up and down in one of the larger fountains soaking wet.

“Oh dear,” Mr. Kiri said. “Their parents are going to _kill_ me.”

Quy turned towards them. And suddenly, he smiled. “Mr. Kiri! Han!”

Han’s chest tightened.

Mr. Kiri nudged him. “Let me sit,” he grumbled.

Quy headed over. “Doesn’t that feel better?” he urged Mr. Kiri. “Movement creates heat. But Han or Yang would fashion a walking stick for you.”

“I’m not _that_ old,” Mr. Kiri said blithely. He grinned at the kids. “Look at them! Such joy.”

“Mr. Kiri!” the kids shouted. “Come join us! It’s fun! Healer Khai made the water all nice and warm!”

Mr. Kiri chuckled. “I don’t think people want to see an old man dripping wet.” He prodded Han. “You two. Go off and talk about whatever young men these days talk about. I’ll mind the kids.”

“Yes. We should talk,” Quy said, his voice suddenly serious. He turned and moved to a relatively secluded area of the fountains, away from Mr. Kiri and the kids and other random passers-by. Han followed him.

“Did something happen at Baashi?” Han asked in a low voice.

Quy frowned. “No.” He glanced away. “I appreciate it that you’ve kept _this_ quiet.”

“I bet Lord Quyen doesn’t know about it.”

Quy made a strangled sound. “No, he most definitely _does not_.”

“Why the name, though? ‘Khai’ is fine, but you could have chosen a better fake name,” Han said, aiming for light-heartedness.

The air suddenly heated up.

“It’s my name,” Quy gritted out. The air temperature quickly become normal again. “It’s fine. Forget it.”

And if the ground opened and swallowed Han up, everyone would know that it was on purpose. “I—I didn’t mean—”

Quy/Khai shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m glad you’ve been training with Raah,” he said abruptly. “It shows.”

“Er—thanks. But, Quy—or Khai. If Khai’s your name, then what about ‘Quy’?”

“It’s a long, private story,” Quy/Khai said, looking away. “Khai is my true name...but it’s probably best if you just call me Quy.”

“No.”

 _Khai_ , Han thought to himself. _Khai-Khai-Khai_.

Khai looked at him. “Pardon?”

“If Khai is your real name, then I’ll call you Khai,” Han said firmly. “Names have _power_. And I want to call you by the right name.”

Khai’s eyebrows drew up as the corners of his lips went down. “You have to call me Quy at Baashi.”

“I can do that. Trust me.”

Khai bit his bottom lip. “I do.”

“Khai! Han! Come over here!”

The two of them stood up smartly at Yang’s call. She was with a group of women, all carrying heavy baskets filled with...uncooked food.

“Help me build a cooking pit,” Yang ordered Han. “And Khai, we need a good, strong fire. Seeing as the kids are all having fun out here, we mothers have decided that it’s the perfect time for a great meal together.”

News spread, and by the time night fell, there were many families gathered by the Fountains. Khai had set multiple mage lights in the air above them, giving a bright ambience in conjunction with the various cooking flames, the smell of food in the air, and the sound of chatter and music and laughter.

Han found himself seated on risen-earth benches around a fire with Yang, her son, Thon, Mr. Kiri, and Khai. Mr. Kiri was recounting one of his old stories. But clearly Khai hadn’t heard it before, and he was listening with rapt attention. Han, who had heard the story over a dozen times, Han zoned out watching Khai’s face.

Thon jabbed Han in the side. “See something you like?” Thon whispered.

Han jolted. “What?”

Thon glanced at Khai pointedly. “He looks so young, hard to believe we’re all the same age. I wonder what his skin care routine is.”

“Mages tend to age slower,” Han reminded him. “And he’s a healer.”

Thon grinned. “What? You think he heals the wrinkles away? You need a _lot_ of healing sessions then,” he said, smirking.

Han shoved him.

“Boys,” Mr. Kiri shook his head with a world-weary sigh. Han was suddenly aware of Khai looking at him and laughing, and he immediately reddened.

“It’s nice to see childhood friends,” Khai said, now smiling. His face turned regretful as he got to his feet. “But I think it’s time for me leave for the evening.”

Han’s stomach sank. “Yeah. I do as well.”

After the multiple round of goodbyes, Khai left, and Han hurried home.

There was light peeking from under the curtains in the front window. Gulping, Han entered the house. Both his mother and little sister Mian were in the front room. Mian’s homework was arrayed on the table in front of them.

“Back late again,” his mother said archly.

Han bowed deeply. “Good evening, Mother. Good evening, little sister.”

His mother gave him a look. “Where were you?”

“I was having dinner with Mage Yang.”

His mother grimaced. “That woman again? I better not see you in some sordid relationship with her.”

Han shook his head. “Yes, Mother.”

Mian snickered. “Don’t worry, he’s _gay_ ,” she whispered.

“Don’t say such things,” his mother snapped.

“Sorry, mum,” Mian said, returning to her books, but not before she smirked at Han.

Han bowed his head, suddenly afraid that they would _see_ what he had been doing afternoon in his eyes. “I’ll go to my room. Good night, Mother, little sister.”

There was nothing between him and Khai/Quy, he thought to himself as he went up the stairs to his room. His little sister was just saying that to rile him up, like how she dangled her favourable relationships with their parents in front of Han.

He was suddenly very glad for Baashi, and the opportunity to get _away_ from his family.

*

Khai was buoyed. With his days spent in company of Han and Raah and Jin, and his evening engagements with Yang and Han and the others, and all other times filled with study, he had no time to even _think_ about his dysphoria.

However, a week or so later as he waited for the others to arrive at the front gates of Baashi, Khai became distinctly aware of someone watching him. Worse, he was aware of someone’s _magic_ trying to probe him.

Khai slowly turned his head, and his eyes narrowed when his fire magic sizzled against the water magic. He traced it back to another Baashi student. Dark blue hair and a familiar figure, it was _Song_ , son of Colonel Maru, the mage who apparently knew “Mai”.

 _One of the top ranking second years_ , Khai recalled Han’s words from weeks ago.

Quy hadn’t been pushing Khai to fight the second years. But with the unsettled fire in Khai’s core, he wanted to get that fight over and done with, rather than wait.

Khai stalked over towards Song. He was under a tree, and there was also a long-haired air mage playing a flute.

Song frowned, watching Khai approach him. The air mage stopped playing.

“Good morning, Song, son of Colonel Maru,” Khai said formally. “I…noticed your magic. Is there something you wish to ask of me?”

The air mage started laughing. “What’s this, Song? Interested in this little first year?”

Song’s gaze was fixed on Khai when he said, “That’s _Quy_ , son of Lord Quyen. The current top ranking first year. Isn’t that _right_?”

Khai _definitely_ noticed the emphasis on ‘Quy’. Very politely, Khai replied, “Yes, that is all true.”

“And this is Ginzan, disciple of Monk Gyonzin,” Song said.

Khai bowed—and flinched back when Ginzan approached him. He took a step back when Ginzan tried to get closer.

“Hmm, I can see how Song’s interested in _you_. You’re very pretty for a boy. Almost…a _girl_.” Ginzan glanced back at Song, who had stiffened. Ginzan’s eyes lit up. “Oh! I’m right! About what? Do you like him? Or is he actually a girl?”

“Shut up, Ginzan,” Song scowled.

Ginzan grinned. “Impossible. I’m an _air_ mage.” He fixed his grey gaze back on Khai. “I like girls. Would you like to get out of here and have some _fun_? You would look pretty all dressed up.”

Khai stared at him, his stomach in _knots_. There was anger, there was dysphoria, there was fear, and there was the need to _burn_.

“ _Actually_ ,” Khai finally grounded out. “I was here to request a duel with Song.”

“No,” Song said immediately. “I’m not fighting _you_.”

“Your face is too cute to be ruined,” Ginzan said.

 _Ignore him._ Khai sidestepped Ginzan. “Why not?” he asked Song.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t know me.”

Song sighed and shook his head. “I have no intention of fighting you. _Why_ are you like this—” his eyes suddenly widened. “Behind!”

Khai ducked and kicked out a ring a flame, catching a water mage bent on ambush, fire turning water blades into steam. Moving his hands in a familiar pattern, Khai called a fire cage around the mage.

Then, calmly, Khai turned back to Song. Song’s fist was clenched. “I don’t like seeing you like this,” Song muttered.

Khai looked back silently.

Ginzan stepped forward. “ _We_ can duel. If you lose, you become my girlfriend.”

“No!” Song suddenly snapped. His lips thinned. “Very well, _Quy_. We will duel. And upon your defeat, you will withdraw from Baashi University.”

Fire and will burned in Khai’s magic core. “I accept.” In _worse_ case, Khai could withdraw…and the _real_ Quy could take his place.

Ginzan sighed, the wind moving gustily.

“After lectures, by the training grounds,” Song said.

Khai bowed. “I look forward to it.”

*

The University was abuzz with the upcoming duel. Khai’s fire was itching for it.

Han appeared even _more_ tense and nervous than Khai.

“He’s _good_ ,” Han said, lips twisting. “Water, it throws your attacks _back_ at you. He can _go_ on fighting.”

“We’re fighting in daylight,” Khai said.

Han’s expression became all unreadable. “I don’t want you to leave Baashi.”

Something in Khai’s chest tightened. “I’ll still be _around_ ,” he said pointedly.

“Just don’t lose,” Raah interrupted.

Khai acknowledged him. “With your strength behind me, how can I?”

“But what if you get hurt? We can’t…you know, heal you,” Han said.

“I can heal myself,” Khai said. “I’ve been doing it for a long time.” He gave Han a firm look.

Han’s mouth remained downturned, but he nodded.

*

“Quy. A quick _word_ before the duel,” Song said, hustling Khai the moment he got out of his final lecture.

Khai immediately tensed, following Song to a secluded place. “What is it?”

“ _Mai_ , I know it’s _you_ ,” Song hissed. “By the moon, _Ginzan_ can tell that you’re a girl! Don’t you remember back at the orphanage? We used to play together. We were _friends_ , and I promised to protect you. You used to call me _older brother_. Damn it, Mai, why are you _doing_ this?”

Khai stared at him, glimpses of memory surfacing.

 _Shit_ , _we really_ do _know each other_.

He didn’t want to lie. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth either. Carefully, he said, “My _reasons_ for attending Baashi University are my own, Song, son of Colonel Maru. I am _not_ who you think I am. Regardless of the past…we’re currently _here_. And we will duel.”

Song made a sound of frustration. “Fine. We’ll fight. But don’t forget that I never wanted to hurt you.”

Khai inclined his head. “Shall we?”

Stiffly, and in silence, the two of them made their way out onto the main training grounds. Han and Ginzan had both set the field up, and the crowd set back relatively safely. When they arrived, Han was crossing his arms and scowling, while Ginzan was grinning.

“Don’t mess with Quy’s face,” Ginzan said, thumping Song on the back.

“We’ll get a _healer_ if necessary,” Han scowled.

Khai gave a little snort and smiled at Han. “It’ll be fine.”

He and Song went to separate sides of the field. Upon Ginzan’s call, they bowed, and the duel began.

Song immediately starting drawing water from the nearby fountains, turning them into glacial ice. But he didn’t attack.

Khai strode closer.

Suddenly, all the ice was hurtling towards him—but it stopped, just as Khai expected, a few handspans away. Deliberately, Khai encased his hand in fire and slammed it directly against the ice. Then he punched and kicked flame that flared through the gaps towards Song.

Song attacked back, and Khai blocked with lava and fire.

 _He’s only using_ ice _,_ Khai suddenly realised. Ice required a lot more energy for Khai to heat up to boiling, ice that he couldn’t control in a melee situation, not nearly well enough against a water mage.

 _Song is a water mage_. Khai sucked in a breath. He had been mostly fighting against earth mages: Taesu was in a region prone to earth affinity. But Song was a water mage, and he _couldn’t_ control earth.

 _Chances of Song being able to manipulate lava as liquid? Possible….but I’m_ better.

Khai dropped down to one knee, avoiding an ice strike, and sunk his hands into the ground. Hot, rolling heat spread through the earth. The nearby water fountains began to steam, and with a growl, Khai lifted up chunks of rocky lava from the ground.

Song’s stance changed, a wave of ice forming behind him.

Khai pushed forward, hard rock and semi-liquid lava. They were solid against the ice in a way fire alone wasn’t. He took what hits came through. Injury can be healed _later_.

Song’s wave of ice came crashing down.

Khai raised his hands up and his wave of lava shot up from the ground. Lava became rock on contact with ice, but parts of it were still warm enough that Khai could _keep on pushing forward_. Rock that knocked Song to the hot ground and kept him down.

Khai breathed harshly, hands out, maintaining his magic connection with the fire in the earth.

“Do you accede defeat?” he shouted. His voice felt hoarse and dry and crackly. Calling that much fire to create that much lava was _hard_ , and he hoped he wasn’t trembling.

Song stared at him.

Then, his eyes closed. “Yes.”

There was silence upon the field.

“Oh… _Quy_ has won,” Ginzan said.

Khai dropped his hands, released the magic. Carefully, he stepped towards Song and held out a hand.

Song looked away, and got to his feet without Khai’s help.

“You’ve become stronger,” Song muttered.

Khai’s jaw tightened. “It was a good match. You need to see a healer.” His fingers itched to do just that for Song.

Song glanced away. “I know a water mage healer. I don’t _like_ this. You might be good duelling one-on-one, but what if a group mobs you? What if someone ambushes you?” His eyes raised, sharp. “I _don’t_ like this. I _don’t_ like you being here.” With that, Song turned and walked away.

Anger flared in Khai’s gut.

 _So_ what _if we used to play together as children? So_ what _if you used to be my ‘big brother’?_ Fire licked across Khai’s knuckles. Song was just like his adopted aunt, both of them seeing a little girl named Mai, both of them blind to all the female mages who _weren’t_ to be coddled.

He wanted to tell them both, he wanted to crawl out of his skin and scream at them, _I’m not Mai! I was never Mai!_

“—? Quy? _Khai_.”

Khai startled, turning his eyes onto Han.

“Are you…alright?” Han asked quietly.

“It’s _fine_ ,” Khai said automatically.

But Han came closer, his brows drawn up. “You were hurt.”

“And I can _heal myself_ ,” Khai said harshly. “I’ve been doing it for _years_.” _Doing to keep my body from being even more horrible and wrong_. “I’m not going to _die_. It’s not going to scar and _ruin my pretty face_.”

Han flinched. “Khai. I don’t mean _that_ —you’ve just defeated _Song_. If you fight Ginzan and win, then _you’ll_ technically rank above the second years as well.”

Khai immediately searched for Ginzan. He was standing with Song. “ _He’s_ the other top second year?”

Han gave him an incredulous look. “You didn’t know?”

Khai silently shook his head.

Han sighed. “What would _Yang_ do?” he muttered.

The sound of Yang’s name brought the final parts of reality down. Khai slumped. “Everything is _wrong_.”

Han reached out a hand, placed on it upon Khai’s arm. “It’s _not_. You’ll come by later, won’t you?”

Khai breathed deeply, and methodically ignored what was _wrong_. “Yes,” he said, his voice satisfactorily firm. He turned his back to Song, to his problems. “I’ll see you later, Han.”

After a beat, Han nodded.

Khai hunched his shoulders and quickly headed home, mouth set in a thin, angry line and fire smouldering hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khai's experiences with dysphoria are, of course, not universal.


	5. Chapter 5

When Khai returned home that night, Quy was up and waiting in the main room.

“Back late _again_ ,” they said, idly twisting their finger. The flames in the firepit in the center flared up.

“Good evening, Quy,” Khai said.

“Take a seat. Despite living in the same house, despite having the same face, we have rarely talked.”

Tense, Khai took a seat on the opposite side of the flames.

“I heard you defeated a second year student,” Quy said. “Very strong, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know.” Having another fire mage so close was odd. Khai was used to being the only one who could control flame with ease. Yet in this house, owned by Quy, the fire longed most to obey _Quy_ first and foremost.

Quy’s smirk was sharp. “Controlling lava. Almost as if you were one of the Royal Court War Mages. My father would be pleased to hear that. As long as you don’t surpass any of the fire mage nobility.”

“I can stop using earth if it displeases you,” Khai tried.

“Mai, Mai, _Mai_. I’ll have to admit, I thought you a poor little orphan. Combat trained, yes, but what you have shown… _who_ taught you, Mai?” The flames parted to side, and Quy stared him down.

“A friend,” Khai said. It was easier to keep his tongue when someone said _Mai_.

“Your aunt would _hate_ to hear about this. Keeping _secrets_ are you?”

Khai inclined his head. It was true. And it was dangerous to Khai’s combat trainer if he revealed her identity, not to mention the implicit vow of secrecy.

Quy tilted their head back, eyes glittering. “You’ve made yourself a viable _target_ for the second years, where before they would have left you alone. I hope you’re ready to deal with that.”

Khai’s head dipped down further. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Quy snorted. “Remember this Mai, regardless of your abilities, you’re still _Mai_ of Karashu, abandoned as a baby, adopted by someone who could only call you her _niece_ rather than _daughter_. Be careful not to fall. Have a good night, Mai.”

Khai got to his feet. “Good night, Quy.” He went up to his bedroom, eyes barely focusing.

 _They’re_ jealous, Khai told himself. It didn’t stop Quy’s words from being _true_ though.

*

Quy waited until Mai was gone. “Shima,” he said.

Upon his command, his butler emerged from the adjoining side room. “Yes, Master Quy?”

“Follow her tomorrow.”

Shima frowned. “What about you, Master?”

“I’m a proficient fire mage, don’t forget that, Shima. Something is _off_ about Mai.”

Mai had come back late, and she was dressed like a _boy_. Previously, she said that she had gone out with her own face…but then which face did she mean? If she had gone out as _Mai_ , there was a risk to Quy’s fake identity as ‘Mai’ at Immin University. If she had gone out as ‘Quy’, there was direct risk to Quy himself. Either way, Quy could _not_ be left in the dark.

Shima bowed. “Yes, Master.”

*

When Khai arrived at Baashi the next morning, there was a tense group waiting for him. To one side, stood Han, Raah and Jin. To the other, Ginzan, and in the middle of the two sides, Song.

Eyes sliding over Song, Khai went to Han’s side. “Good morning.”

“It’s a good morning now that you’ve joined us,” Ginzan said, smiling winningly. The breeze teased his long white hair.

“No,” Song said flatly.

Ginzan rolled his eyes. “ _You_ had your fun with him. Now it’s _my_ turn. I challenge you to a duel, Quy, son of Lord Quyen.”

“You have to fight me first,” Song said, stepped half between Ginzan and Khai.

“You have to fight _me_ first,” Han said louder.

Ginzan smirked. “If you are fighting on Quy’s behalf…then if you lose, Quy will become my girlfriend.”

Han and Song both bristled.

“No!” Song said.

“He’s not a girl,” Han growled.

Khai’s mood plummeted and he fixed Ginzan with an unimpressed look. “Fine. We’ll fight, Ginzan. _Tomorrow_. I’m too damn _tired_ right now.” He glanced at Han, Raah and Jin. “Come on, we have lectures to get to.”

Song slapped Ginzan on the arm. “What was _that_? Why do you keep wanting to make him your _girl_ friend? You’re not gay!”

“For someone like that, it’s not hard to be _flexible_.”

Khai slashed fire into the air above Ginzan’s head. “Don’t joke,” he growled. Then, annoyed that he had snapped and fallen for Ginzan’s taunts, Khai fixed his gaze firmly at the lecture hall building and didn’t look back.

*

Han exchanged a worried glance at Raah and Jin, and the three of them hurried to catch up with Khai/Quy.

“Are you still hurt from yesterday?” Han asked quietly into Khai’s ear.

Khai stiffened, and the air around him heated up. “I’m _fine_.”

Han swallowed a sigh.

“Oh, Quy, did you get that assignment done? I would really like your help,” Jin said brightly.

Khai looked relieved for the distraction. But for once, Han wished that they could talk about their _feelings_.

They spent so much time together, both at Baashi, and down in the lower districts. But neither of them had talked much about their past, about their families. Han didn’t even know Khai’s favourite colour, and he wasn’t going to be stupid and say “red, like fire!”

Han stumbled to a stop, and frowned at himself. What did Khai’s favourite colour have to do with anything?

“Han?” Raah prodded him.

Han startled. “Right, yes, sorry, what?”

Raah rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he said, and hustled him into the lecture hall.

*

Han immediately stood when Khai approached the tea shop in his usual healer-mage clothing.

“Khai…” he started.

“Healer Khai!” Mr. Kiri called out.

Khai gave Han a nod and headed over to Mr. Kiri. “Good afternoon Mr. Kiri.”

“There are a handful of folks who need you to visit them,” Mr. Kiri said.

Han slumped, crestfallen. Of _course_ Khai had better things to do than spend time alone with him.

“I need someone who knows where they live,” Khai said.

Mr. Kiri beckoned Han over. “Young Han, help me along with Healer Khai.”

“What if I have schoolwork, Mr. Kiri?” Han said.

Mr. Kiri chuckled. “If you were going to do it, you wouldn’t be here waiting for Healer Khai, now would you?”

Han fought not to blush. “I’ll tell Mage Yang to make you a cane, Mr. Kiri.” He helped Mr. Kiri up.

“Thanks for this,” Khai said, smiling.

At that, Han’s mood lifted again. “You’re welcome.”

Mr. Kiri chuckled. “Young men, hmm.”

As Mr. Kiri directed them to various different houses, Han had the chance to watch Khai at work. If he focused, he could sense the flow of magic around Khai. It was mesmerising, the way the magic moved in pattern, overlayed by natural flicker of fire that kept Han engrossed.

Evening arrived along with Mage Yang, who collected them to another open-air dinner by the Water Fountains that was even more extensive than last time.

In the flickering light of the fire, and as Yang and Mr. Kiri carried the conversation, Han found himself zoning out on Khai’s face once again. The flames naturally shifted to Khai, contrary to any breeze, and his eyes were bright gold in the light.

“Mage Yang. I heard rumours of you stealing my son.” The sound of his mother’s voice sliced through Han’s light daze.

He scrambled to his feet. “Mother!”

His mother tapped her feet on the ground. Behind her, Han’s sister Mian looked around with sharp eyed curiousity, her lips twisted into a smirk.

Han’s mother smiled stiffly. “Han, your father works hard to give you the opportunity to attend Baashi. And yet, you are _here_ instead of _studying_.”

Han stared down at his feet, ears burning. “Sorry, Mother.”

“Madam Ta,” Mr. Kiri said. “Let the boy have some fun!”

“Don’t tell me how to raise my children, Mr. Kiri,” Han’s mother said sharply.

“And who’s the girl?” Mian piped up, staring at Khai. “You looked like you have a _massive_ crush. You used to be so awful talking to girls, we thought you might have been gay!” Mian stepped closer, peering at Khai. “But I guess she looks a bit like a boy.”

Yang rose to her feet. As did Khai, who said first, “I am Mage Healer Khai. I’m _not_ a girl. And there’s _nothing_ wrong with being gay.”

Han shivered. He could feel Khai’s fire spreading out, licking the air. It encompassed him, ready and _safe_ , despite the sudden heat from the flames.

And the way Khai said it— _there’s_ nothing _wrong with being gay_ —it sounded as though Khai was like _that_. Once, Han had accidentally read about an old Emperor and the story of the cut sleeve, among the books in Yang’s collection. But _ordinary_ people did not have epic romances.

“All healers are girls,” Mian said, glancing at their mother.

“Then you have been taught wrongly,” Yang said smoothly. “Madam Ta, I would never steal your son. Han is a good young man, and your parenting played a large role.”

Han glanced at Yang. A _large_ role. Not a _good_ role.

Ta’s lips thinned and her eyes narrowed. “Thank you,” she said stiffly. “Han, come. We’re going home.”

“Yes, Mother.” Han turned to the others, pasted on a smile. “Thank you, tonight was lovely. I’ll see you—goodbye.”

Khai reached out, and the sense of fire brushed against his skin.

Han forced his smile up. “Have a good night.”

And he turned resolutely and followed his mother and sister back home.

*

“That Madam _Ta_ ,” Mr. Kiri muttered.

“Hush,” Yang said.

Khai sighed as the sense of flame-that-was-Han moved further and further away until it was blurred amongst all the other heat. He dropped his head into his hands. _Stupid, stupid!_ He’d definitely made things worse for Han.

“I should go,” Khai forced out. “I need to study too.”

“And let her _win_?” Mr. Kiri pulled a face.

“ _Kiri_ ,” Yang said. “We’re not keeping you here, Khai. I just wanted...to talk to you for a moment.”

Khai quickly gave goodbyes to the others around the fire. With a gentle hand, Yang led him out of the Fountains and onto a darkened street.

Yang turned to him. “On the day of that building fire...you were in Immin’s uniform. And your healer’s licence had the name _Mai_.”

Khai sucked in a breath. Automatically, heat flared across his palms.

“Calm down,” Yang said. “I believe you. You’re Khai, and you’re not a girl. But attending Immin, are you alright?”

Khai bowed his head. “I’m actually attending Baashi under a different name. I swapped places with someone else,” he admitted.

Yang looked at him. “Han knew you.”

Khai nodded.

“You’re strong,” Yang said plainly. “But we’ll be here if you _ever_ need us. My home is open for you. It must be hard, to pretend all the time. Stay safe if you can, Khai.”

Khai’s lip trembled, his throat tight, and all he could do was nod. Yang pulled him into a hug.

“Stay safe,” she repeated.

“Yes,” Khai said quietly. Yang patted him on the arm one more time, and let him head home.

*

Quy was waiting for Khai at home, the firepit burning white. Behind them, Shima stood, turned to the side.

“Welcome back, Mai,” Quy said. “Or should I say... _Khai_?”

Khai’s stomach dropped. He glanced to Shima, who continued to look away.

“What _are_ you, Mai?” Quy asked. “Word on the street is that you’re a _boy_. But I have copies of your birth documents, Mai. And you’re running around, playing _healer_ to the poor folk. Is that how you get off?”

Khai clenched his fists. “No.”

Quy rolled their eyes. “You’re horrible at lying. This facade has gone on long enough. I’ve grown sick of it,” Quy said. “You’ve been passable enough at fighting. But you don’t have the _true_ composure of a son of Lord Quyen.”

Khai tried to breathe.

“You’ve taken the top first year rank at Baashi. And you know have Han, Raah and Jin as your retainers. They are sufficient to keep me from any further distasteful fighting. I’ll let you go back to Immin with the _women_. It’s clear that you’ve _forgotten_ how to be a girl.” Quy tilted their head back. “And I’ll be magnanimous. I’ll let you stay the night in this house. But after that, I’d prefer not to see you again. Oh, and grow your hair out. Short hair looks ugly on you.” They threw something at Khai. “Your lecture schedule at Immin.”

Khai glanced at it. All the courses he had chosen beforehand for Immin were absent, replaced with a scattering of other subjects.

Khai forced himself to bow. “Thank you for your kindness, Quy. Thank you for your hospitality.” He hesitated, and decided to throw caution to the wind. “Tell me, Quy, why did you wear the girls’ uniform, why did you attend Immin? Are you not a boy, Quy?”

Quy sneered. “Don’t think what I did is interchangeable with _you_ _r_ weirdness. To hold my deception at Baashi, _someone_ needed to make an appearance at Immin. Pretending to be a girl is _easy_ , seeing them all _fooled_. After all, I am Quy, _son_ of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen.”

The words made Khai’s stomach sink. His hope of any commonality dissipated. Khai nodded stiffly and turned away up the stairs.

He thought of going to Immin made him want to run away. He knew nothing of the subjects, nothing of the university, nothing of the friends Quy had met as ‘Mai’. Meanwhile, Quy apparently knew _everything_ about Khai’s movements as ‘Quy’ at Baashi.

 _Yang_ immediately sprang to mind. But he couldn’t stay with her indefinitely.

But he wished she was here. He wished _Han_ was here, he wished his secret combat trainer was here. But what could he tell them? He had been _so, so_ stupid.

There was only one thing he could do right now. He started packing.


	6. Chapter 6

“Must you continue to associate with the riff-raff?” Han’s mother hissed as they walked back home.

Han clenched his jaw. “They’re _not_.”

His mother’s nostrils flared. “In the company of _poor_ folk. Your father and I didn’t work hard for you to do _this_.”

Han flinched, a familiar sense of guilt at the pit of his stomach. He wanted to protest, but something stopped him.

His mother grunted. She herded him and his sister into their house, and closed the door heavily behind them, nevermind that Han was the only mage in the family and could take out the lock—or the wall.

His father, Lang, was there, and Han’s feet felt like lead.

“Father,” Han said heavily. “I hope you had a good trip.” His father had been gone on a business trip since the previous season—after Han had been accepted into Baashi, and before the classes had started.

“Indeed. I heard interesting things.”

Han stilled. “Yes?”

His father leaned forward. “Congratulations, Han, on making friends with Lord Quyen’s youngest son. His rise at Baashi Unviersity is as prolific as the eldest son. More so, if he conquers the second years tomorrow,” he said, voice smooth and his eyes glinting.

A bitter taste filled Han’s mouth. His friendship with Khai was as real as his friendship with Thon. He hadn’t done it gain _favour_. Han forced himself to meet his father’s gaze. “I believe he will.”

His father gave the driest of smiles. “Such confidence he has inspired in you. Be careful, however, my son. Fire mages can cast spells on your heart, and lordlings are even more dangerous.”

Han’s eyes dipped. “Yes, father,” he said dutifully.

“What about the fact that I found him with that single mother, _Yang_ ,” Han’s mother said sharply.

“Ah, that. There is no need for you to be in her company. There are many accomplished earth mages at Baashi.” His father picked up some papers, a clear dismissal.

His mother snorted.

Han gave them both respectful good-nights and quickly retreated to his room.

What if he had told them that Healer Khai was _Quy_? Would they congratulate him on that? Would his sister blanch at what she had said to Khai?

Han scowled and tugged one of his university books towards him. He was going to Baashi for a reason, and it _wasn’t_ the same as his father’s goal. He was going to graduate, and make a living _his_ way, and pay his parents back and _escape_ them the moment his debt was fulfilled.

*

Khai left the house with all his belongings before the sun rose, before Quy awoke.

His feet didn’t want to move.

He could _try_ to return to his original apartment block. But he didn’t want to see the landlady again. But there were more places in the city. His fingers skimmed over the bump in his pocket: coins, from his savings back in Karashu, and his earnings from Quy. It _should_ be enough—as long as he wasn’t in the rich district where Quy’s house stood.

His head dropped, and he forced himself to step forward.

*

Han headed out of the house early and away from his family. A happiness burst in him when he spotted Khai at the front gates of Baashi, next to a tall unknown swordsman.

Han lifted his hand in greeting. “Quy!”

Khai turned, and smiled at him all wrong.

It wasn’t Khai.

Han froze.

The eyes were the same colour. The face felt the same.

But the movement was _different_. The _fire_ was different.

Han suddenly realised how _soft_ and _comforting_ Khai’s flame had been. In contrast, this ‘Quy’ was sharp and flickering and flaring. _Dangerous_ , like fire.

“Hi, Han,” ‘Quy’ said. “Ready for our lecture?”

Han forced a smile onto his face. “I am. And who is this?” he asked lightly, glancing at the swordsman.

“Ah,” ‘Quy’ smiled. “This is my butler, Shima. Don’t worry, he won’t fight. However, I believe that it would help you and the others relax a little more at Baashi. We’re here to learn, after all.”

Han nodded, pushing himself to stand next to ‘Quy’. “Ready for our first lecture of the day?”

‘Quy’’s eyes glinted, and Han felt a cold chill. He knew that Han knew...and they were going to both pretend otherwise.

*

Never had Han been so happy that Khai’s schedule had more lectures than Han. The moment he was able to, he rounded up Raah and Jin, away from ‘Quy’ and the swordsman-butler.

“Something’s wrong,” he said immediately.

Raah snorted. “Besides Quy acting more bratty today?”

“ _It’s not him_.”

“What do you mean?” Jin said. “It’s definitely him!”

Han levelled him a look. “I would _know_. That _Quy_ out there _isn’t our Quy!_ Quy doesn’t act like that! He doesn’t _move_ like that! And can’t you feel it? His magic is _different_.”

Raah’s lips thinned. “How is this possible? Lord Quyen has only two sons, and Lady Chau’s honour is without question. Quy has no cousins who look similar, and he could hardly have a secret _twin_. I would _know_.”

“I don’t _know_ ,” Han said. “They don’t look exactly the same! I don’t know what happened to the real Quy…”

“That _doesn’t make sense!_ ” Jin argued, but he stilled at Raah’s hand.

“You know Quy the best,” Raah admitted. “If it’s not him...we have to be careful. What’s to say it wasn’t _our_ Quy who was the fake one? What if there are more than two lookalikes? We have to move carefully. Pretend that nothing has changed.” Raah frowned. “The duel with Ginzan has already been scheduled.”

Han frowned. “We’ll have to see how he fights. Either outcome...I don’t know which would be better for _us_.”

Jin groaned. “Why does it feel like we’re in the middle of a court drama?”

*

Quy stalked onto the training field. At the center, his opponent and the arbiter stood in wait.

“Looking feisty,” Ginzan said, shifting lightly on his feet.

Quy raised one unimpressed eyebrow, and shot the arbiter, the second year mage Song, a sharp a look.

Song nodded, took a step back, and announced the start of the duel.

Ginzan was immediately in the air and away from the ground.

Quy’s face remain passive, but inwardly, he smirked. Ginzan clearly expected him to use lava, like ‘Khai’ had. But Quy didn’t _need_ to augment his flame with impure elements.

With a trace of finger in the air, Quy fashioned himself a polearm of fire. He grabbed the flame with one bare hand and slashed it out. Ginzan jumped back—and the flame slashed him across the front as fire flared out from the point far beyond the range of an ordinary polearm.

Ginzan’s expression tightened. Wind keened, sharp as knives and strong as a gale.

In the blink of an eye, Quy’s polearm slimmed and he threw it. Thin as it was, it sliced right through the wind. He didn’t wait for it to land, before launching another fire-spear, then another.

Ginzan’s attacks became narrow, concentrated blasts of air as solid as earth. But their narrowness made it easy for Quy to dodge.

Quy pushed his hands together, and called forth a blade of fire. And as he raised it above his head, the blade lengthened and thickened beyond ordinary proportions, yet always light as _flame_.

Heat dragged air, disrupting Ginzan’s control, breaking, ever so slightly, his connection with his element.

And that was enough. With a crashing, crackling finality, Quy bought the sword down and set the training field on fire.

Quy didn’t even wait for Song’s proclamation, striding back to the sidelines where Shima, and the three first years awaited him.

Shima gave the most imperceptible of nods. Jin looked impressed, Raah looked contemplative.

And Han looked scared.

Quy gave him an empty smile with just the tiniest hint of teeth. _Run_ _and_ _tell anyone else, and you will die_.

“Quite amazing,” Raah said. “You never fail to amaze us, Quy.”

“As expected as the son of Lord Quyen,” Quy said loftily. He glanced at the crowds who had come to watch, their chatter, and their incredulous looks at him.

Tried not to show how much the entire thing was a waste of time. Ginzan had only become one of the top second years due to a non-combat _popularity_. Ideally, Mai would have dealt with him, and any other waste-of-time-mages before Quy took back what was rightfully his.

He had wanted to keep Mai as a blackmailed double. She could have been _useful_ : a blade in the dark, a trick that no-one in the court could see, and someone to take the tedious, boring tasks.

 _I still can_. Quy’s day brightened up a little.

“You’re the top first _and_ second year, now,” said Raah. “Will you challenge your brother for the last third years?”

Han looked surprised. “He’s your _brother?_ ”

“Quang is unfortunately away on a study placement,” Quy said dismissively. He gave Han a sidelong look. “But if it came to it...you know who would win.”

Han nodded grimly.

Quy immediately smiled. “Don’t worry so, Han! He’s my _brother_. We would never fight.”

Han didn’t look like he quite believed, which meant Han’s home life was clearly _troubled_.

And therefore, a _weak point_.

Quy smiled benevolently.

*

With a thudding heart and sweaty palms, Han dashed to Thon’s tea shop.

His breath rushed out of him when he saw the real Quy— _Khai_ —sitting calmly with Mr. Kiri as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Khai!” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Khai met his eyes and grimaced.

“We need to talk,” Han said, before Mr. Kiri could say anything.

Khai gave Mr. Kiri an apologetic bow. “If you don’t mind.”

Mr. Kiri glanced between them. “Go, then.”

The two of them headed to the Fountains once again: Han thought that the sound of the water would help mask their conversation. He wanted to reach out, to touch Khai, to make sure he was _there_ and _real_.

A hundred-and-one thoughts stopped him. “What’s happening, Quy?” Han asked, his eyes sliding away. “There was someone else there today. Someone who fought Ginzan, and injured him, _badly_.”

Quy/Khai sat down heavily on the edge of one of the Fountains. “He’s a good fighter, then.”

“I wouldn’t know who would win if you two fought,” Han admitted, his stomach rolling at the thought.

“I’m not the real Quy.”

Han flinched, eyes shooting to the fire mage in front of him. The ground felt unsteady. “You’re _not_?”

“As you can see, we looked very much alike. But _he_ is Quy, son of Lord Quyen. And I’m Khai, nephew of Healer Mage Tien.” Khai didn’t meet Han’s eyes. “I come from Karashu.”

Han blanched. “Raah was _right_. _You’re_ the fake.”

“He wanted me as a body double, to fight in his place. Apparently he finds distaste in it, though given that he fought Ginzan...he never _needed_ me in the first place.”

Han’s head hurt, and so did his heart. “What about classes? Your lectures?”

“I’ll return to my original university, perhaps.” Khai looked down.

“Which?”

Khai didn’t answer, still not meeting Han’s gaze.

Han scrubbed at his eyes. “I don’t want to follow _that_ Quy. He’s...he’s Lord Quyen’s son. I should have _known_. I _knew_ you didn’t act like those of the court.”

“Why would you follow me? Han, I’m not...if I wasn’t a mage, I would have been _nothing_.”

Han snorted. “You’re a healer, and you’re one of the best combat mages at Baashi. You’re definitely something, Khai.” He suddenly realised something—“Khai is your _real_ name, isn’t it? The _whole_ time.”

Khai nodded.

Now that Han’s worry and fear had ebbed away, anger and betrayal took their place. “Damn it, Khai. I thought someone had _killed_ you and _replaced_ you! Aren’t we friends? Why didn’t you _tell_ me? I thought that we—that there was something else between us. But you would have kept the deception up!”

Khai flinched. “I was stupid. I’d like to think that I would have told you. But it was a dangerous secret—it still _is_. If anyone else found out...Quy might not be punished. But I have no rank to protect me. And if not telling you was the only way to _protect_ you—”

“I’m not _weak_ ,” Han retorted. “I can protect myself. The _real_ Quy knows that I know!” He slumped down on the edge of the fountain too.

“...I’m sorry.”

Han looked away.

The silence between them stretched. Han glanced at Khai: he was fiddling with his hands, a small globe of steaming water twisting back and forth, and his magic pulsed in the same rhythm.

Han had felt Khai’s fire when he battled, so different to what it was now. He shuddered, remembering that sword of flame the real Quy had used.

At the end of the day… “We’re friends,” Han said quietly. “Aren’t we?”

“Yes,” Khai immediately answered. His magic jumped in determination.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

Khai blinked, looking confused. “Gold. The colour of the sun. What’s yours?”

Han laughed, feeling a little hysterical. “Not red like fire, then. Green’s my favourite.”

“I’ll keep that in mind?” Khai had a hesitant smile.

Han stood up, and held out a hand to Khai. “Let’s get back to Mr. Kiri.”

*

Khai had gratefully accepted Han’s hand. It was easy to pretend that nothing had changed as they went about the lower districts: they never mentioned Baashi, anyway.

As night fell, Khai farewelled the others and initially started off in his usual direction. When he was sure no-one was following him, he looped to over to a different district, to a place he had found to stay, one that didn’t care for official papers so long as he handed them the money.

The next day, Khai dressed up as a girl and headed over to Immin, ready to lie through his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Re-)writing this chapter was like pulling out teeth.


	7. Chapter 7

Khai bowed his head deeply in front of Immin’s Course Administrator. “I am truly sorry, but please allow me to change my courses one more time. I promise you that I have been studying these new subjects as well.”

The Administrator was silent, and Khai hazarded raising his head.

She was looking through the list of courses Khai wanted to transfer into, cross-referencing with his file. “These were your original choices,” she said.

Khai nodded. “Yes. I was suggested those other courses, but...I wish to return to my original ones.”

The Administrator sighed. “Your position is not uncommon. We’ve had students change multiple times. Very well. Consider it done.” She rifled through one of the drawers in the room and pulled out some papers. “Your original schedule, as it were.”

Khai bowed deeply. “Thank you so much.”

*

“This is the _second_ day Mai’s missing.”

Khai gave a darting glance to a group of students. ‘Mai’ wasn’t an uncommon name.

“It’s been a bit cold lately. Maybe fire mages get sick easier with the change in weather,” one of them suggested.

Fire mages though were uncommon in Taesu. He glanced at them. It was a group of three students. From Khai’s sense, two of them were earth mages, and the third a non-mage.

“You know...she never told us where she lived.”

“I hope she’s okay.”

“Crystal configurations has been a _bore—_ ” one said, as their conversation shifted to one of their classes.

Khai’s breath quickened. Maybe he could tell them something. At least then they needn’t worry. He glanced at them.

But they looked so _refined_. What would they see when they looked at him? Would they see a _girl_?

He couldn’t.

Lowering his eyes, Khai slipped away.

*

Khai left Immin with a mixture of relief and disquiet. Immin was a good university—better than Baashi, even, given that its students did not frequently destroy parts of it.

But Khai felt off-center without Han, and Raah, and even Jin around. The uniform felt _wrong_ , he just _knew_ everyone looked at him and thought _woman_.

“Mai? Mai!”

Khai froze. Then, ever so slowly, he turned to face his incoming adopted aunt, Healer Mage Tien. She had her black hair pulled up away from her face and cascading down her back. And she was glaring at Khai, hazel-gold eyes flashing.

Khai pulled his fire back, away from the sharp heat of his aunt’s.

“ _What_ have you done with your hair?”

For a brief moment, Khai closed his eyes. “I was trying something new.”

Healer Tien scowled. “Well, it makes you look like a boy, so I expect you to be growing out your hair. I came all the way from Karashu, to see you like _this_!”

Khai ducked his head, feeling the too-curious looks from those around them. He hurried towards his aunt. “Good afternoon, Auntie. Why are you here?” he said lowly.

“Beside to see you? I decided I should also acquire new knowledge concerning healing. Imagine my _surprise_ when I went to your address and found that you had been kicked out weeks ago! Where are you staying now?”

Khai looked away. “I merely moved locations. I didn’t want to worry you. Where are you staying, Auntie?” Automatically, his voice climbed higher.

Tien levelled Khai with a sharp look. Khai met her gaze squarely.

“I see,” she finally said. “I am staying in the accommodation with from the Healers’ Association. Do you have any plans, niece?”

Khai lowered his head. “None, Auntie.” After all, _Mai_ had no plans.

Tien raised her eyebrows. “No friends? Well, I have a dinner booked for the two of us. I thought it would be good to catch up. Come. There is _much_ to speak about. Have you been practicing your healing at least, Mai?”

“Yes, Auntie.” Grudgingly, Khai followed.

Tien took him to a riverside restaurant, taking a table near the steps down to the water, and grilled him on Healing basics. Khai answered them easily enough, and despite himself, he sat a little straighter when Tien gave him an approving nod.

What he _couldn’t_ answer were questions about Immin.

“I was studying,” Khai said. “I don’t take notice of those things.”

“University is more than _learning_ ,” Tien scowled. “You must make _connections_. I thought being around other young women your age would make things better—”

“Brighten up, Song. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” an older man said to Song.

“Oh, Colonel Maru!” Tien said immediately. “I didn’t know you were here!”

Khai slunk down in seat and turned his face away.

“Why, Healer Mage Tien,” the older man said. He had graying hair, and dressed as one of the common men, rather than as a Colonel. “How lovely to see you! It’s been such a long time—since I adopted Song, I believe.”

Tien gave Song a look over, and nudged Khai subtly under the table. She stood up to face Colonel Maru. “A girl fire mage appeared in the bunch, after. Have you met my apprentice and adopted niece, Mai?”

Khai took a steadying breath. His fire was the same, regardless of what other people _thought_ they saw. Dutifully, Khai stood up and bowed. “Good to meet you, Colonel Maru. And to see you, Song.”

Maru clapped his hands. “Ah, you two know each other!” He looked between them, eyes bright.

Song was _looking_ at him, lips parted. “I—we knew each other from the orphanage.”

“Talk, then! I imagine you both have much to catch up on, as I do with Tien!”

Tien called a waiter for two chairs and more refreshments. Colonel took the seat next to Tien. Song slipped into the chair next to Khai.

Khai had no idea what to say. He could feel Song’s gaze on him. He still didn’t remember Song, but the evidence was clear: they _had_ been at the orphanage together.

“Sir,” Song cleared his throat and looked at his adopted father, “May Mai and I speak in private? We will stay, just over there by the steps down to the river.”

Maru glanced to Tien. “If her aunt does not mind?”

“No silly business,” Tien said sternly.

Song shook his head. “Not at all, Healer Tien.”

Gritting his teeth, Khai got up and followed Song to the riverside steps.

“You were _missing_ today and yesterday,” Song whispered harshly. “There was someone else in your place.”

Khai glared at the river. “Are you _happy_? You never wanted me there _anyway_.”

Song’s expression darkened. “Why, Mai? Why were you there? Who’s in your place?”

“The real Quy, son of Lady Chau and Lord Quyen,” Khai recited. “He wanted me as his _body double_. And now, I’ve served his purpose. Can’t you _see_? I’m attending Immin now. You and my aunt should celebrate together,” he added bitterly.

“Immin—they would have noticed your disappearance,” Song frowned. “The Immin uniform fits you.”

Khai turned away. “I don’t _want_ to be here. I should be with...not. It’s all _wrong_.”

“What do you mean?”

Khai looked away. “Forget it.”

In a low voice, Song said, “I think your friends realised that something’s up.”

Khai scoffed. “I know.” He turned to Song and smirked. “Han knows.”

Song gave him a look of surprise. “How? Did you see the fight with Ginzan? He’s _still_ at the Healers for burns.”

Khai gave Song a sardonic look. “Would you have rather _I_ was at Baashi for that duel?”

Song opened his mouth, then closed it, scowling. “I didn’t want you there in the first place, Mai.”

Khai flinched at the name. “Is there anything _new_ you want to talk to be me about?” he said abruptly.

“Mai, don’t be like that, please—do you truly not remember?”

“No.”

Song pursed his lips. “You were younger than me.”

Khai glanced back at his aunt and the colonel. They were both chatting...and looking their way. Khai felt sick. _Do they really want us_ together _?_

He leaned away from Song, and narrowed his eyes. “Are you gay, Song?”

“Of course not!” Song spluttered.

Khai chuckled darkly. “Then it’ll never work between us,” he said, feeling contrarily cheered up.

“How is that even relevant?”

Khai pointed his head back at their adoptive guardians. “They’re plotting. Maybe they think it’ll be romantic for us to _reconnect_.”

Song glanced away. “...Right.”

Sensing Song’s uncomfortableness, Khai lapsed into silence. Maybe he _shouldn’t_ have mentioned the gay thing. Song was...no Han.

“Children! Come, eat,” the Colonel called out presently.

Khai stood up, ignoring Song’s offering hand. His aunt gave him a questioning look. Khai shrugged on shoulder, and his aunt looked away.

*

It was not too late when his aunt concluded the dinner. After farewelling their dinner companions, and after promising to meet his aunt at the Healers’ Association main building the next day, Khai quickly headed to the place he was staying to change out of his Immin uniform and into _his_ clothes.

“Ah, Healer Khai,” Mr. Kiri greeted, the remnants of dinner in front of him. Thon was sitting next to him, and he nodded his head in greeting as well.

“Han left a while ago,” Thon said.

Khai winced. “I have urgent family business to attend to over the next few days,” he said apologetically. “This was the earliest I could tell you.”

Mr. Kiri had a look of sympathy. “Ah, understandable.”

“You don’t mind telling Yang and Han? I don’t want them to worry.”

Mr. Kiri nodded. “Consider it done.”

*

The next day, Khai donned his old white-gold-red healer robes and met his aunt at the front gate of the building of the Healers’ Association of Taesu. Dutifully, he followed his aunt as she met with the other healers, he listened in with professional interest as they traded healing techniques and knowledge, and he tried not to stare at the robes of the handful of male healers.

By the end of the day, Khai’s face felt stiff from smiling, as he forced himself to do whenever his aunt introduced him to the other Healers as _Healer Mage Mai_ , and he found himself hating his voice all over again.

“Your niece is rather quiet, isn’t she?” more than one Healer had commented.

Khai had bowed his head. “With listening, one can learn,” he had replied, and as always, they returned with a comment with how _good_ he was, while his throat clogged up with self-disgust.

That evening, his aunt, and by extension, himself, was invited to dinner with the other female Healer Mages of the Association.

“Taesu’s quite modern,” one of the healers was saying. “The lower districts’ council has a scheme whereby their constituents are allowed free healing the first Sunday every month.”

Khai tried not to scoff, looking up at the other diners. Once a month was _not_ enough.

“Only once a month?” Tien asked, frowning. “If so, you must get swamped on that one day!”

One of the healers smiled self-deprecatingly. “We take turns each month,” she admitted.

“The next one should be easy though,” another healer said. “There’s a new healer down there. A fire mage, by the name of Khai, I heard.”

Khai forcefully fixed his expression, forcefully kept his magic’s usual ebb and flow.

“A young man, I believe.”

“That’s one odd boy to take up healing instead of fighting, if he’s fire-aligned.”

“We should see if he’s worthy to join our association.”

“But a _man_ though?” Tien shook her head. “That is so odd. Surely there are enough men in this association as it is.”

Khai’s stomach tightened.

“The big cities like Taesu are a little more free in that regard,” a healer said, shrugging.

Khai gave his aunt a careful look, but she grimaced, and changed the topic.

“Is it true that sunlight can be use to power healing directly?” she said instead. “Surely it is more efficient to convert it to flame first…”

Khai looked away and back down at his food. No, he could never tell her. He was already feeling tired at the thought of the next, second, day off being around his aunt, and probably all the upcoming evenings while his aunt remained in Taesu. He hoped that at least Han was having a better time.

*

The weekend passed with no sign of Khai, and with his father home, Han holed himself up inside his bedroom, grimly studying. When Monday came around, Han had to drag himself to Baashi.

“Han.” The second year water mage intercepted Han before he reached Baashi’s front gates.

Han sighed. “Good morning, Song.”

Song glanced around, then leaned in. “You know Mai,” he said quietly.

Han blinked at him. “Pardon?”

Song’s face darkened. “ _Quy_. You know _Quy_.”

Han leaned away. “Well, yes. Strongest Fire Mage of the first and second years at Baashi?” he said drily.

Song scowled. “Mai said you knew her,” he muttered.

“I don’t know anyone named Mai,” Han said, scowling back. “Look, Quy’s probably waiting for me, and he is _not_ one to be kept waiting.” He looked behind him and spotted Quy and his swordsman approaching. “There.”

Song’s lips thinned. “Mai was _pretending_ to be Quy,” he tried.

Han snorted. _He’s gotten_ something _messed up_. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I hope Ginzan has recovered. Now, have a good day, Song.”

“What was that?” Quy asked when Han reached him.

Han shrugged. “He was mistaken.”

Quy gave Song a measured look, and then smiled at Han. “Nevermind, then. Come, Han.”

*

Song kept a close eye on Quy and Han during the day, but there was nothing he could quite gleam, aside from that Han _was_ acting less friendly towards Quy. At the end of the day, Song went to Immin, the only place _he_ knew to find Mai.

The women at Immin clustered around him, asking him about Ginzan.

“The Healers say he’ll be fine tomorrow,” Song had to reassure them, over and over. He spotted Mai trying to slink past him, but her short hair was a giveaway among all the other girls. “My apologies,” he told the others, and quickly slipped through them. “Mai. Mai!”

Mai darted a glance at him, and kept walking.

Song jogged a little and settled into the same pace beside her. “Mai. How are you?”

“I have to see my aunt,” she said flatly. “What do you want?”

“Shouldn’t we try to get to know each other?”

*

Khai wanted to growl with frustration. He wanted to char Song’s clothes. “When you can’t even _respect_ me, no thank you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m _literally_ not who you think I am. I fought you, I _defeated_ you. If you held back—fine, we can fight _again_.”

“I just wanted to...back in the orphanage--”

“Back then, I was weak.” Khai rolled his eyes. “I’m not so arrogant as to turn not _protection_ per-se. But you’re trying to protect this _false_ image you have of me in your head. You think I’m that weak little girl. Open your _eyes_ , Song. There are mages here at Immin that would win in a duel against you.”

Song’s jaw tightened. “Perhaps so. Then let me get to know you, as you are now, Mai.”

Khai gritted his teeth at the name. “I have no patience for you right now. Have a good day, Song.”

With that, Khai turned away, ignoring Song, and headed to the Healers’ Association building for his next bout of pretending-to-be-Mai with his aunt.


	8. Chapter 8

“What’s put _you_ in a mood,” Ginzan drawled, poking Song in the side.

“Nothing,” Song muttered.

Ginzan snorted. “Is it Quy again? He’s seems _fine_. He came out that damn fight perfectly untouched, didn’t he. I should have _known_ he was worse than even his brother,” he added darkly.

“The students at Immin are asking for you,” Song said instead.

Ginzan’s eyebrows went up as his mouth curved into a grin. “Visited the girls, did you?”

Unfortunately, Ginzan kept up the ribbing, and at the end of the day, he dragged Song out to Immin.

Ginzan took his flute, serenading, and Song felt his heart rise and fall when he spotted Mai hurrying away once again.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that,” Ginzan said, nudging him. “You have an eye on that girl. Let me help you win her over.”

Remembering how Mai had rebuffed Ginzan’s advances as ‘Quy’, Song shook his head. “No. If you tried that...she might just challenge you to a duel. She’s a fire mage.” Song deflated at his words, recognising the truth of them. Mai would do exactly that...and maybe she was _gay_ anyway. Otherwise, why would she had mention it?

Ginzan pursed his lips. “No good will come from _that_ then. Let me find you another girl.”

“No thanks, Ginzan. I’m going home.”

*

“Perhaps your expertise could aid us,” Healer Mage Hong said. She motioned Healer Mage Tien into the patient’s room; Khai followed a step behind. They were in one of the private hospitals, where patients had private rooms with large windows that let in sunlight.

Khai peered at the patient. A middle-aged man, Healer Mage Hong was saying, but he looked far older as the disease aged him. Khai listened as Hong continued on what they had tried, what had failed, and what had helped.

“Very well,” Tien said. “Mai?”

Khai nodded, and went over to the nearby fireplace. He sparked flame on the cold wood logs and built up the fire.

Tien gave him a nod, and drew the flame with her magic and directed it into the patient.

Khai watched closely. And tried not to wince when she did things he wouldn’t do.

She had taught him to heal using the body’s memory. That the body inherently knew best—at least most of the time. But Khai was of the opinion that it _didn’t_ know best quite more frequently—his own body was case-in-point.

And Healer Mage Hong had said that the patient had been sick for years; and the disease had aged him years more. Healing would require winding back a decade of ageing—yet in a decade’s time, nearly all the particles in the body have been replaced. There was no memory of health to recall.

Sweat appeared on his aunt’s forehead. The patient’s breathing eased slightly, but the disease remained.

“Auntie? Healer Mage Hong?” Khai asked in a tiny voice.

Tien withdrew her hands. “Yes, Mai?”

“May I try?”

Tien glanced at Hong, and then turned to Khai. “You _are_ licensed,” she said.

Khai nodded. “Thank you.” He called the fire over to him, and a bit of the heat from the sunlight as well, and reached out. Up close, through his magic, Khai could feel how the patient’s very cells had been warped.

But in the room, were three people whose cells _weren’t_ warped. Khai drew on _that_ , calling the heat-impressions from his aunt, and Healer Mage Hong, and himself, and _imposing_ that order upon the patient’s cells.

And he _wasn’t_ going to be nice about it. The disease riddled every part of the patient’s body, and Khai was going _eradicate_ it. Pride in his own thoroughness, if nothing else.

The disease fought back, retwisting cells Khai had healed.

 _If I dropped you in_ lava _, you would die_ , he told it, drawing more and more heat from around him to fuel his battle. Khai healed the organs first, spreading out with each beat of the patient’s strengthening heart; not old smoke wisps of what had been right, but light clear as day of what _is_ right.

“Mai. Mai, you’ve lost yourself again.”

Khai jolted. But it wasn’t the wrong name that snapped him out of healing; it was the stirring in the patient’s inner flame, a pulse of consciousness that signalled _awake_.

Khai withdrew his hands and exhaled, warming the air in the room. He staggered back a little, and took a seat in the chair his aunt pulled over.

“Mai!” his aunt scolded. “If you lose yourself, if you give _all_ your flame, you may die!”

Khai reached out for sunlight, but there was none; the sun had gone down. He grimaced. “Sorry, auntie. I got carried away.”

His aunt gave an exasperated sigh. “Again. Let me—”

Khai tugged his hand away from her grip. “Some hot tea will be enough,” he said. “You should save your strength for more patients.”

“Interesting,” Hong hummed, her hands passing over the patient. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy,” the man murmured.

Hong nodded. “Then go back to sleep. A natural rest will strengthen the body.” She turned to Khai, ushered them out of the room. “How did you do it?”

With half an eye on his aunt, Khai answered, “By matching with our healthy cells. The patient—his body didn’t easily _remember_ , but we _do_.”

“It wasn’t that drastic,” Tien shook her head.

Khai nodded, looking down. There was so much more he could say, but...it felt too much like _bragging_. He didn’t want to overshadow his aunt this way, not in front of an outsider.

“But you did well,” Tien added.

“Indeed, it was impressive work, Mai,” Hong smiled. “You have taught a good Healer, Tien.” She winked at Khai. “Let’s get that tea.”

Khai returned a weak smile. “Thank you.”

*

“Mai hasn’t been seen in the lower districts lately,” Shima reported. “Han has also not been out at the tea shop either.”

Quy gave a nod of acknowledgement, and Shima left his study. Unfortunately, Quy needed to do something about Han. Han had drawn away, speaking to Quy less and less, and certainly not _confiding_ in Quy about anything of importance.

And most gratingly, Han was the most unaffected by the draw of Quy’s power, and did not even _pretend_ to be drawn. Someone _intelligent_ would realise the benefits he would gain in Quy’s favour.

No, Han’s magic shielded itself from Quy’s fire with the echoes of _Mai’s_ flame.

 _Once Han establishes his roots, it is hard to lift them_ , Quy thought with a prickle of irritation. If Quy himself had just been there from the beginning—

Quy rolled his eyes internally. Why was he fighting over _Han’s_ loyalty? He was hardly the best mage.

“Quy, a missive has arrived for you,” Shima said. He placed down the flat sheets of paper, and retreated.

Quy caught the insignia of his father immediately.

“It was delivered by one of Lord Quyen’s messengers.”

“I see.” Quy passed a hand over the papers, Under the heat of his magic, words appeared on the page.

_Dear Quy, son of mine,_

_It is pleasing to hear that you have triumphed over the first and second levels of student mages at Baashi University. You and your brother now hold Baashi University in our sway_.

Unwritten was that Quy was _not_ allowed to challenge his brother for the top position over the third years.

 _Word of your skill has reached the ears of our Emperor. Your brother may have skill in manipulating lava. You can_ make _it._

Hatred towards _Mai_ flared in Quy’s gut. _Lava_ manipulation had gotten his father’s attention. Lava that _Mai_ made. Lava that Quy _couldn’t_.

_I shall be passing Taesu_ _with a Royal Retinue_ _in a weeks time from the delivery of this letter._ _You are invited to spend the day with us. We look forward to your display._

Quy’s fingers felt like ice. Quickly, he scanned the rest of the letter, but there was nothing else; the second sheet contained procedures for where Quy should go to meet his father and the prince in their visit to Taesu.

Written in was Quy’s _display_.

Quy clenched his fist, fire burning lightning-hot at the center of his palm.

A _girl_. A _girl_ who pranced around pretending to be a man had gotten his father’s attention. She was meant to be his body double, a pawn. She was never meant to _surpass_ him.

Quy stopped, and chided himself. If _Mai_ could learn it, so could he. Melting rock to liquid—that should be _easy_. The only reason Quy had never done so was—was because he never thought it worthy of his time.

*

A hand came down heavily on Han’s shoulder. Han jerked, and turned around.

“Something’s up, Han,” Raah said warningly.

The day had ended. The _week_ had ended. Quy had been distracted, and Han had wanted a quick escape. Shrugging off Raah’s hold, he said, “What do you mean?”

Raah snorted. “Last week, you were _all_ about how Quy was fake. What happened?”

“Quy is real. I was mistaken.”

Raah regarded him. “There’s more. Where are you going?”

“Home,” Han said roughly.

Raah frowned. “If Quy is _real_ , then...there was a fake one,” Raah said slowly.

Han stayed silent.

“You _do_ know,” Raah pressed. “You know who the fake one is.”

“Don’t _you_ want the one that’s the son of a Lord?” Han said angrily. “Do you _really_ want Quy knowing that you _know_? Didn’t you see how he fought Ginzan?”

“But that person isn’t our friend, the one that we’ve known, is he?” Raah said.

Han scowled. “On _your_ head then,” he warned.

Raah shrugged. “Tell me.”

“ _Our friend_ , as you say, is fine. He’s attending a different university. No—I don’t know which,” Han said premptively, “But I do know where he’s normally at, after.”

“He’s likely at Four Elements,” Raah said. “The only other university suitable calibre in Taesu is Immin, and that’s womens only.”

“If I may _go_ now?” Han said.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Pulling _rank_ on me?” Han eyed him.

“Don’t you think I have the right to see our friend too?”

Han gritted his teeth. Unfortunately, he thought Raah was right. “Fine.”

*

Quy slammed down his fist, and fire erupted from the ground. Around him, the earth was charred, _split and sundered_ in places, glassy-fused in others. But _there was no lava_ , no molten rock.

If a jumped up _Healer_ could do it, so could Quy.

But. _Nothing. Was. Working!_

“Take a break,” came Shima’s calm words.

“ _Tch_.” Quy accepted Shima’s glass of water. “Fetch me the scrolls again.”

“Master Quy, if I may offer some words,” Shima said quietly, bowing his head.

Quy slanted a look at him. “Yes?”

“There is one person you know has mastered the creation of lava in combat situations.”

Quy gritted his teeth. “I _know_.”

But did he want to _lower_ himself to ask?

 _Or_ he could _blackmail_ Mai into helping him.

“Shima,” he said abruptly. “Take me to where Mai was last seen.”

*

“I am to meet the Senior Healers over the next few days. And I realise that you should be studying, shouldn’t you, young lady?” his aunt had said last night.

It had been hard for Khai to hid the momentary sense of freedom, and it grew as the next day came. After another day at Immin, he had hurried home and changed, and he grinned when he saw the tea shop again.

“There he is!” Han said, waving broadly.

Khai’s heart jumped. “Good afternoon, Han.”

“Good,” Mr. Kiri said. He thumped his table. “Oi! Thon! Bring some tea out here for Healer Khai!”

“Coming, old man!” Thon yelled back.

Khai’s eyes skipped to the figure who was next to Han, and his grin dimmed. “Good afternoon, Raah.”

Raah strolled up to him, assessing him. “Han was right. Your magic _is_ different. _Khai_ , you say.”

Khai inclined his head. “Does it make you feel betrayed to have followed someone of lower class than you?”

“It would have been better if you had joined Baashi under your real identity,” Raah said, just as levelly. “If Han could get a half=scholarship, you should have been able to obtain one too.”

“It was never an option,” he said, shaking his head.

Raah raised his eyebrows. “As a _Healer_ , Baashi University may not be suitable. But your mage skills remain impressive.”

Khai shrugged.

“Here’s your tea, Khai,” Thon said, setting a tray down on Mr. Kiri’s table. “Nice to see you back.”

“That’s _Healer_ Khai to you,” Mr. Kiri chided good-naturedly.

Thon rolled his eyes. “Whatever, old man.”

Khai smiled, and went to sit next to Mr. Kiri. Han and Raah pulled up chairs as well.

“Is this what you’ve been doing after classes?” Raah asked.

“Doing healing rounds, actually,” Khai admitted. “I’m registered.”

Raah snorted. “I knew it.”

“I should go and check up some of them,” Khai thought out loud.

“Don’t you worry,” Mr. Kiri said. “With word of your return, we’ll have people coming to _you_.”

 _Eep_. At the corner of Khai’s eye, he could see one of his patients approaching already.

“You shouldn’t up!” he chided them, helping them into his vacated seat. “Let me see—”

*

Han watched Khai’s magic with interest, letting himself catch some of that heat that flowed off of him.

“He really knows what he’s doing,” Raah said quietly.

Han glanced at him. “You don’t have to stay,” he said. “This isn’t your kind of entertainment—”

“But it’s _yours?_ ” Raah smirked.

Han choked.

“Heh.” Raah shook his head. “I should have known. He never acted like a noble, after all. But yet...how curious.” Raah turned to look at Khai and his patient.

“What do you mean?”

But Raah shrugged and didn’t answer.

*

From the rooftops, Quy glared at Mai/Khai and her _followers._ Beside him, Shima was silent.

Han was a lost cause. But Raah _should have known better_. He should have known the politics. He should have _stayed_ by Quy’s side. But instead, he was _staying_ there with the commoners, with _Mai_.

Mai’s magic _must_ have called their loyalty. Something in her healer training must have made it _deeper,_ harder to Quy to dislodge.

As more and more people clustered to Mai, Quy realised the extent of Mai’s reach. Mai was a _fire mage_ , and every commoner she helped was another person made loyal.

And if Mai rallied enough followers, she could do serious damage. She could fashion herself into a noble, and getting rid of her violently would call up an angry mob.

Quy’s teeth grinded together when the sound of Mai’s laughter, as Han talked, making large gestures.

 _Oh_ , Quy could crush Han’s prospects so _easily_. A half-scholarship student was _always_ on shaky ground.

And _now_ Mai was healing yet another random peasant that had come up to her, for _free!_

 _Khai-Khai-Khai_ , they kept called her. They kept acting like she was a man.

They didn’t _know_. But he knew of Mai’s healer’s license.

“Keep an eye on her. Find her accommodation, Shima,” Quy said. “There is business I need to attend to.”

*

“We’re grateful for your visit, Healer Mage Tien,” said senior Healer Mage Thu. “It is not often that we have Fire Healers here in Taesu.”

“I am grateful for your time,” Tien replied, inclining her head. “Is there not the rumour of a fire healer in the lower districts?”

Not Mai, unfortunately. Tien inwardly shook her head. Mai _thought_ more about healing than _doing—_ why else would she take Advanced Magical Theory at Immin, instead of something more practical?

Thu gave Tien a considering look. “Indeed, there is. From memory, no one has affirmed this healer’s license. He apparently appeared one day, out of the open air. Thank you for the reminder.”

Tien inclined her head. _I will visit the lower districts_ , she decided. Healers in those districts faced a greater array of diseases and ailments than those who practiced in the richer areas.

“But as now,” Thu smiled, “Please join us for dinner.”

*

The next day, Yang found herself walking quickly after a chat with one of the people who worked in the local district council office.

Word of Khai’s presence had spread to the officials.

And Yang had a bad feeling about it.


	9. Chapter 9

Khai rose with the sun, feeling good about the day ahead. After breakfast, he met Han at Yang’s house, and the two of them took Minh off her hands so that she could run errands. Khai and Han took Minh to go play with the other kids in the district. And together they had fun making glass trinkets for the kids, combining their fire and earth magic.

“Argg!” Han said, letting his glass solidify. “It just doesn’t _act_ right.”

“It _is_ more fluid,” Khai grinned. “Not good at all types of earth?”

“Rock shouldn’t be so liquid,” Han said, pouting.

Khai laughed. “But what about lava?”

Han rolled his eyes. “ _You’re_ the one who uses lava, not me!”

“Hmm, what’s this?”

Khai turned to Yang, smiling widely. “Hello! You’re back.”

Yang smiled. “Some of my errands require waiting.”

“We were making glass,” Han said, showing her some of the pieces. Khai matched his sheepish grin.

Yang laughed. “A little more practice, before you can get that dragon right,” she said. She picked up a misshapen glass dragon and reformed it herself. The kid who requested it clapped her hands and gave a shriek of glee when Yang passed it over.

Khai nudged Han. “Why aren’t you as good as Yang?”

“ _Maybe_ if you kept the glass _hotter_ it would be easier to shape!” Han retorted.

Yang gave them a handful of metal coins. “Why don’t you two have lunch together?”

“I—I really can’t accept this,” Khai stammered, wide-eyed. “I have savings too—”

“Think of it as babysitting compensation,” Yang said, patting Khai on the head. “Now, off you two go.”

Khai blinked when Han grabbed his hand and tugged him up.

“If Yang says so, you listen,” Han said, winking.

Khai huffed a smile. “I can definitely see. We’ll be back soon, Yang.”

“ _Take you_ _r_ _time_ ,” Yang said pointedly.

Han gave a jaunty wave, and tugged Khai further.

“Where are you taking me?” Khai asked, trying hard to ignore the fact that they were still holding hands. He didn’t _know_ if Han was queer or not. He didn’t want to assume.

And then there was Khai’s secret...even if Han _was_ queer, he still might react badly if he found out. But Khai _should_ tell him about Mai, before it _came out_ in even worse circumstances. But the thought made Khai feel sick.

Han’s grip tightened, his fingers curling properly between Khai’s.

“Hey,” Han said lightly. “What’s wrong? The sun is shining, and I’m here. We’re headed to one of the markets. _Best_ meat ever.”

Khai looked back at him. Han’s gaze was steady, and his inner life-flame was steady, if a little brighter than usual.

Khai breathed, and shook his head lightly. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be worrying. But are you _sure_ it’s the best meat over? A few years ago, I had this _amazing_ slow-cooked, fatty off-the-bone.”

Han chuckled. “That, and _more_.”

The market turned out to be filled with people Khai realised that he _knew_. People he had treated, or friends or family there-of. Many of them were regulars at Thon’s tea shop, co-gossipers with Thon’s grandfather. A number more were friends with Yang.

“No, no, _no_ ,” they would insist. “We are not taking money from you, Healer Khai.”

“Have some! You’ve got to keep your strength,” they would say. “And eat some vegetables. My grandfather said you insisted on eating more of them.”

Han would grin knowingly, as Khai’s cheeks got hotter and hotter as he thanked the vendors profusely and accepted the food.

Together, they found an empty space, and Han moved earth up into a makeshift bench; food across the laps as they shared a dozen different dishes.

“If I wasn’t a mage, I would be a cook,” Han declared.

Khai laughed, feeling warm and giddy. “You can be one of those cook-mages. You don’t have a fire affinity, but you could make it work if you try hard enough.”

“ _Or_ you could help me,” Han grinned. “We made a _great_ team with those glass things. If you could infuse fire in them, we could even sell them to the upper class.”

Khai snorted. “You’re _terrible_ at finesse though. Jin would be better at it.”

Han pouted. “Do you like him more than me?”

“I—” Khai looked away. “You can’t blackmail me like that,” he grumbled. “Jin’s more of _Raah’s_ friend anyway. And you were the first…you’re my closest friend.”

“UMM, we _really_ could try to sell something,” Han quickly said. “Then you could purchase more expensive medicine ingredients. My dad’s a merchant, I _definitely_ know what I’m talking about. He taught me business, before we found out that I was a mage.”

Khai glanced at him, lips twisting. “How is he? And your mother and sister? Last time…” Last time, his sister had misgendered Khai, and his mother had insulted all those in Han’s company.

Han’s face soured. “My father found out about my _friendship_ with Quy. He’s pleased about _that_. Connections and favours and all. But Quy’s had his eye on me.”

Khai cringed. “I’m sorry that I can’t offer you connections and favours—”

Han gave an exasperated huff. “I never wanted it in the first place.” His smile turned fond. “We’re friends. Not two men brokering a deal.”

“Oh.” Khai bit his bottom lip. “But what do _you_ want?”

“Have you heard of metamaterials?”

“Oh. Yes,” Khai said. “A more durable material than glass would be nice. I’ve broken many medicine bottles in my time. And flame resistant materials would be helpful.”

A smile bloomed across Han’s face. “There are _so many_ experimental and magic-made materials. If we did it right, we could have less house fires, build buildings higher, making more durable _everything_.”

Khai had to smile as Han went on to describe the very more recent advances in material synthesis.

“—So, we could try to make something like glass. But instead of melting sand, we’d have to shift around and melt certain earths, though apparently it’s better made from earth-oil…” Han stopped, and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “That was a lot.”

“It was _interesting_ ,” Khai said firmly, smiling. He laughed a little. “Maybe I should have taken Chemical Structures after all.”

“My mother doesn’t approve it of it though,” Han sighed. “Speaking of things she doesn’t approve of...are you...”

Khai tilted his head. “Yes?”

Han’s eyes darted away. “Would you cut your sleeve?”

Khai sucked in a sharp breath. “ _Yes_. I rise early with the sun. If I had to, I would do so. And you?”

Han had a wavering smile. “I can sense the earth’s vibrations. A light sleeper. If I had to, I would do so too. Khai, I—”

Khai wet his lips. The fire in his core reached out for Han’s sense of flame. Without conscious thought, Khai’s fingers brushed against Han’s cheek and jaw, hot in Han’s sudden flush.

Something crashed onto the ground. “ _Mai! What_ _under_ _the sun are you doing?!_ ”

Khai’s heart jumped to his throat as fire flared out of his palms, arching up to singe his clothes. Quickly, he pulled the flames back before they could hurt Han.

“Woah, Khai, are you alright?” Han asked, brows drawing together in worry, a hand laying itself over Khai’s.

Khai shifted his hand, grasped Han’s fingers for a moment. “I’m fine. But—” Khai turned to none other than his aunt.

“You know her?” Han frowned.

“She’s my adopted aunt,” Khai said, trying hard to _breath_ and not panic.

Han touched his arm. “Khai...” he said.

Khai flinched when he caught the tight expression on his aunt’s face. Inhaled. Stood up and bowed. “Good afternoon. Auntie. This is my...close friend, Han. Han, this is my aunt, Healer Mage Tien.”

Han got up and bowed too. “Good afternoon, Healer Mage Tien.”

Tien inclined her head. “A _word_ , Mai.”

Han gave him a frown, and Khai shook his head, and went over to his aunt’s side. “Yes?”

Tien’s expression darkened. “What about Colonel Maru’s nice boy? And _what_ are you doing, consorting with a man without a chaperone?”

“I’m an adult,” Khai said quietly.

Tien shook her head. “It’s bad enough that your hair is short like a man’s, but to _dress_ like this as well?”

Khai flinched and took a step back.

“Khai?” Han reached out.

“ _Mai_ ,” Tien said warningly.

Khai’s head dropped as flames arched up his arms. “Stop it, auntie. _Stop it_.”

“Mai, are you throwing a tantrum?”

“Stop _calling_ me that. I _hate_ the name Mai.” Khai lifted his head. “My name is Khai, I _don’t_ need a chaperone, and—and I’m _not_ a girl.”

Tien had a look of disbelief. “Mai, I’ve _seen_ you! I’m a healer, I would _know!_ It’s this big city. _Taesu_. Queerness ails the people.” She advanced forward, healing flame spreading over her hands. Her voice became soft. “Let me help you, Mai. Let me heal you.”

Khai shifted into a fighting stance. “I’m _not_ sick. I’m a healer, I would _know_ ,” he added, throwing Tien’s words back. “And you must be wilfully blind if you missed all the queer people back at Karashu.”

“Mai, the ailment clouds your thought.” Tien advanced.

Narrowed eyes, Khai crossed his arms, and bars of flame cut the air between him and his aunt.

Tien hissed, and sliced through the fire. But Khai was _burning_ , and he called the fire back white-blue _hot_.

“Without me around, you’ve learned how to hurt people with fire, have you? Are you going to hurt me? Fire can either heal, or _kill_.”

“Oh, _auntie_ ,” Khai said, smirking. “I learnt how to fight back in Karashu. It’s how I could heal those aggressive diseases, how I could bring the weakest back to _life_. Because life is _energy_ and you have to _fight_ for it. And the mage who taught me...she was queer too.” Khai pressed forward, forced Tien back.

“And I _left_ Karashu because I wanted to get away from _you_ , auntie. Because I was _right_. You _wouldn’t_ understand. You _wilfully_ stay ignorant.” Khai smashed the flames together in a sharp _crack_ of heat-implosion and extinguished them. “Disown me, Healer Mage Tien. And I will pay you back what money you feel I owe you.”

“You were _never_ prone to dramatics,” Tien said.

“I’ve _known_ for at least a decade! Half my life!” Khai shouted back. He was so _angry_ , and he had told her—he may as well _keep going_ , because he was _done_. _Done_ with the grating words, done with trying to keep up with the pretense of ‘Mai’. “You never _asked_.”

Tien took a step forward, hands reaching out, slowly pulling Khai’s separating bars of fire apart. “What has gotten _in_ to you? Did you accidentally imprint that patient’s male-thoughts onto yourself?”

Khai gaped at her. “You— _you_ —” he spluttered. He shook his head. “I can’t.” His stomach was rolling, fire filling his tight chest. “I can’t talk like this.” He turned back to Han.

Han gave a half shake of his head. “I don’t understand…”

“My name is _Khai_...”

“Mai—” Khai’s aunt said something that Khai ignored.

Han grabbed his hand. “I know that.” He leaned forward. “Do you want to get out of here? The earth could just open up beneath us...”

 _Oh_. Khai gave Han a quick grin. And the ground shuddered beneath them.

*

Han didn’t understand over half of what Khai and his aunt had talked about. Most of it didn’t make sense.

But he _could_ sense Khai’s magic, the way it flared erratically, even as Han transported them through solid earth. They came back up by the Water Fountains, which tinkled and sparkled in the sunlight. Yang wasn’t around, and neither were the younger kids from the morning.

“ _Well_ , she was…” Han started.

“You met her at a bad time. She has her good sides, but…”

Han pulled a face. “Ah, yes, just like all those violent criminals. They have a _nice_ side that covers up their _bad_ insides.”

Khai shook his head. “She’s not. It’s just...”

Despite Khai’s words, the air temperature around them ramped up.

Han nudged him. “Do you want to fight, Khai? Exercise could make you feel better. And my sister always seems to feel better after fighting with me.”

As Han had hoped, a tiny smile quirked at the corner of Khai’s lips.

“I would rather just make a huge pillar of flame. At least that way, I wouldn’t have to heal you at the end of the battle.”

“Hey!” Han pouted. “You don’t have to rub me into the ground like that.”

Khai’s smile became broader. “Han, you really are the best.”

Han flushed. “Are you sure you’re not a noble? All that flattery…”

“It’s not flattery if it’s _true_ ,” he replied. His look softened. “I...owe you. Do you have any questions about what my aunt said?”

Han blinked at him. _Everything_ , was his first reaction. But he didn’t want Khai to be _sad_ again. He shook his head. “We’re friends, we don’t _owe_ each other. It’s not some kind of _merchant_ deal,” Han added.

Khai quirked his lips. “Then we’re friends, and you can _ask_. And if I don’t like the question, we can have the fight you wanted.”

Han pursed his lips. He motioned to Khai, and the two of them took a seat on the edge of one of the fountains.

Finally, he said, “What do you want me to ask? Your aunt—she was saying a lot of things. I didn’t understand most of it. What patient was she talking about? Was it someone yesterday?”

“Day before. I was with her, with another Healer.” Khai’s face became desolate. He looked away from Han. “You should ask why she called me _Mai_.”

Han blinked. “Oh! Yesterday, Song approached me. He asked me about someone named Mai. But I don’t know anyone by that name...” He trailed off. He frowned. “Was he...asking about you?” He shook his head. “But that makes no sense...”

In a small voice that made Han bend in closer to hear, Khai said: “Mai was the name given to me by my birth parents. But it was wrong.” He gave Han a glance, and Han was quick to give a thoughtful nod in return.

“You know that I am... _gay_ ,” Khai finally said.

Han bit his bottom lip. Nodded, and felt, rather than saw, Khai’s brief flicker of attention to his mouth.

“Well. There’s more. When I was a young child, too young to understand what _adults_ were doing, the healers and the adults all _decided_ I was a girl. I had the _parts_ after all.”

Han furrowed his brow, trying to think. “So...you...” he motioned at Khai’s groin, and then flushed.

Khai’s shoulders hunched up. “Yeah.”

Han tried not to shudder at the thought.

Khai’s lips quirked a little. “The worst part is not that. It’s with everyone _looking_ at me and thinking _girl_ , thinking _woman_. When I’m _not_. My fire combat trainer, she was the one who helped me with my true name.” Khai gave a half-strangled laugh. “Well, if Tien tried to do some kind of blood binding spell, she’d use the wrong name and the spell won’t catch. Small mercies.”

Han reached out a hand. “Khai...You were...born like a girl?”

Khai nodded, pressed a hand over his face. “I would...understand that if you’re gay, that you...won’t like me anymore. As a friend or...”

Han’s chest tightened. His heart skipped a beat when Khai’s gold eyes looked at him.

“Ah! Han! Khai! There you are!”

Han nearly jumped.

Thon raced towards them, face set in worry. “You need to go. Khai...there are people coming for you.”

*

Khai chilled. His aunt? He jumped to his feet.

Thon stopped panting. “Han. Can you—”

Han frowned. “What is it?”

“Stop right there, Mages! We’re looking for Healer Mage Khai!”

Khai whipped his gaze around. A group of uniformed people were approaching.

“It’s the _council_ ,” Thon muttered. “What do you want?” Thon said loudly.

One of the healers came forward, and pointed out Khai. “That is him, Council Member Wei. His magic trace matches.”

The most high ranking of them stepped, hands tucked in flowing green, gold-edged robes. “It has come to my attention that Healer Khai has been operating in _my_ district,” the Council Member said imperiously. “For the safety of my constituents, we must ensure that his credentials are valid.”

The healer nodded and turned to them. She looked vaguely familiar, one of the healers at the Healers’ Association. “Your licence, Healer Khai?”

Khai’s stomach dropped.

His healer license was in his pocket. But it was written to the name _Mai_. His hands tensed.

Council Member Wei scowled at him. “Show your license immediately! If not...Unlawfully practicing healing will be _five_ years of imprisonment.”

Khai breathed. Made his face calm. And reached inside his outer robe to retrieve his licence. The wrong name flashed back at him. And purposefully, Khai heated a fingertip to _hot_ and seared off the first part of his deadname.

Then, he held it out, forcing the other healer to come up to him. “Here.”

The healer took the licence, and gave Khai a sharp look as she touched the part with Khai’s deadname. With her own twist of earth-magic, she restored the licence.

“Healer Mage Mai, apprenticed to Healer Mage Tien, Karashu,” she read out, frowning. “You are not Healer Tien’s niece. When did you take this from Healer Mage Mai?”

The Council Member tilted his head back and stared at Khai down his nose. “Stealing _and_ practicing without license? Theft, too? Arrest him!”

“Get back,” Han growled, moving to stand in front of Khai.

“Han, don’t,” Khai implored. He stepped around Han and met the healer’s gaze squarely. “My licence is _real._ My _blood-print_ matches.”

“Tell that to the _court_.” The Council Member waved a negligent hand and turned around. “Capture him. And oh, the punishment for evading arrest can mean up to an additional year’s imprisonment, not to mention the crime for assaulting district council guards.”

Khai made a pleading face at the healer. “Really—just, check—”

The healer merely tucked Khai’s license away.

The district council guards approached, steel chains glinting in the sun.

Fire burned, pushed against Khai’s skin, wanting to escape. He could just _blast_ them all. He could jump and _escape_ , but then he’d be on the _run_.

A sense of familiar magic suddenly washed through the air, and Khai’s eyes narrowed.

“Stop!”


	10. Chapter 10

Quy walked quickly through the district, Shima by his side. Peasants made way for them down the streets, and how _lucky_ for them, else Quy would have split the road with fire.

 _This is not as planned,_ Quy scowled. Obtaining a copy of Mai’s/Khai’s healing license from Taesu’s Gate Control archives was straightforward. But in the process, Quy had overheard a handful of guards talking about the search for a potentially renegade _Healer Khai_ down in the lower districts.

Quy halted when he caught sight of the large group ahead. Quickly, he and Shima took hidden positions, close enough, and in time, for Mai-dressed-as-Khai to hand over their mage license.

Fire hummed in his belly as his eyes narrowed. His plans to blackmail Mai had fallen through. Mai had been down there for _weeks_ , healing without attracting official attention. And those peasants, if nothing else, were _loyal_. They wouldn’t betray their beloved Healer.

So who on _earth_ had put the idea of checking for ‘Healer Khai’ in the mind of the local district council?

*

Thoughts in Tien’s head went around in circles.

_Was Mai the so-called Healer Khai?_

It didn’t matter. She still had _words_ for her niece. The earth mage took Mai away, but Tien could still sense Mai’s fire magic. They had been, _still were_ , teacher and student.

That was when Tien saw the cluster of official council and Healer Mage Thu facing off with Mai.

Healer Thu had mentioned that she was going to check Healer Khai’s license.

Tien tensed when the guards approached Mai. She strode forward. “Stop!”

Thu inclined her head. “Healer Mage Tien. This person has your niece’s Healer license.”

Mai met Tien’s gaze.

Tien folded her arms. “I see. I... _did_ teach Healer Khai.” She came over and took the familiar licence off of Thu. “Yes, I authorised this. However...there was a _mixup_ with bureaucracy—you know how it is.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Thu pursed her lips. “Would you maintain your word in court?”

Tien didn’t change her expression. “Yes.”

The Council Member curled his lip. “Who are you?”

Tien nodded politely. “I am Healer Mage Tien, from Karashu. I taught and licensed Healer Mage Khai.”

Whatever happened, she was _not_ going to let them put Mai into prison.

“And if you say the licence was improperly written out, _why_ haven’t you updated it?” The Council Member said imperiously.

“It is _pending_ ,” Tien said coldly. “I hardly doubt _your_ council moves any faster.”

“Tch. Very well. This _young man_ will be charged for practicing under a false licence.”

“Council Member Wei,” a voice rang out clearly. “Mage Healer Tien is correct.”

A female earth mage strode towards them. She was holding a few sheets of paper. “Healer Khai’s updated licence has arrive. The only thing left is his blood-thumbprint under the witness of his teacher.”

Tien’s eyes narrowed. “And that would be me.”

The woman glanced at Mai, and Mai nodded.

“Yes,” Mai said. “Master Tien...”

Tien exhaled and went over to the woman. She glanced over the papers. They looked official. But it was a fake, it _had_ to be, when Tien saw it under the name _Khai_. All of Mai’s legal papers were under her real name _Mai_.

But Tien knew a ruse when she saw one. Beckoning Mai over, she oversaw the blood thumbprint onto the papers. With a gentle puff of dry air, Tien dried the blood, and handed it to Healer Mage Thu.

“Back-dated as the incorrect licence,” Thu said with a raise of her eyebrows. “I concede, Healer Mage Tien. All seems to be in order.” She handed back the papers to Tien. “And yet you never spoke of teaching someone named _Khai_ to me,” she said quietly.

“I did not think _he_ would be here,” Tien replied, equally quiet. She affected a mild look of shame. “Compared to my _niece_ , Healer Khai is not nearly as good. But he is good enough to practice.”

“And for these lower districts, they take what they can get,” Thu conceded. She straightened and turned to the Council Member. “Healer Khai has been practising within the law.”

The Council Member drew his robes around him, sneering. “In that case, have a pleasant day, Healer Khai.”

With a measure of relief, the Council Member and his party left. Tien waited for them to leave before facing her errant niece.

*

Quy hissed. To think that the woman who Mai had saved all those weeks ago would come back and do _this_ to Quy. His copy of Mai’s licence burst into flames in his hands as panic spiralled with _anger_.

Lord Quyen was coming in a _week_. How was Quy going to learn lava creation _now?_

Lord Quyen was coming in a week with a _Royal Retinue_ and he expected Quy to perform.

And if Quy couldn’t...the best he could hope for was _disownment_.

And the worst...Quy blanched at the thought of dueling Lord Quyen.

The center of his palms heated up as his hands curled into fists. Quy would just have to blackmail Mai in the _hands-on_ way.

*

Khai moved a little closer to Yang, watching the council people finally leave. He did his best not to look at his aunt. He was conflicted. Tien had _helped_. But that didn’t mean she _accepted_ him.

“Yang, how did you—”

Tien strode up. “A good _forgery_ ,” she snorted, raising her brows at Yang. “Consorting with _criminals_ now, Mai?”

Yang tilted her head. “And yet, you played along. An accomplice in crime. And Khai technically _is_ licensed. As you know.” She moved forward, put herself between Khai and Tien as she started to exchange verbal blows with Tien.

“Hey,” Han whispered. “Are you alright?”

Khai nodded. “I—” He stopped when he suddenly sensed the sudden flaring of fire, in control and _hungry_.

Immediately, he broke free from the others, searching for the flame.

Quy emerged from in-between the buildings. He was dressed for a fight. “This is a _challenge_ , Mai,” he said, voice low. “And if I win, you will follow _my_ orders.”

“My name is Khai,” Khai said, starting forward again. “What is it that you want from me?”

Quy smirked. “Have you conceded the duel _already?_ ”

Khai scowled back. “And if _I_ win?”

“Why don’t you do that _first?_ ”

“Let’s take this fight elsewhere. There are civilians.”

Quy’s hands slashed, and twin blades of flame appeared. “Surely you are a good enough mage to aim accurately?”

Khai narrowed his eyes and shifted into ready stance. “Fine. Let’s finish this quickly, shall we?”

“Khai!” Han yelled. Earth rose like a wall between Khai and Quy—

—Quy slashed down, and the earth cracked and split apart.

“Clear the area, Han!” Khai yelled, not taking his eyes of Quy. With speed, he directed his fire through his body, out of his feet and into the water pipes below. They were at the Water Fountains, after all, and a beat later, steaming water rushed to Khai’s command.

Quy took a step forward and slashed his fire-swords in parallel, flame extending and whipping towards Khai. With a raised hand, water rose to block. Quy’s fire bit in, boiling off water, _fighting_ against Khai’s control of the flame in the water. For a brief moment, Khai _let_ Quy have control, and the water fell as Quy failed to hold the water up with the fire.

With a sweep of his foot, Khai called out the heated water once again. With the raise of his hands, he lifted up lava.

Quy’s fire jumped white-blue hot. His hands pressed together, twin swords merging into one large sword of flame. With a slash and a thrust, flame raced towards Khai, maw _opening_ as a dragon flickered across the beam of fire.

Khai threw up water and earth, but they couldn’t move as fast as weightless flame. Pain burst from his arm, as his sleeve went black and his skin seared and bubbled.

Hissing, Khai moved his hands apart, forming ropes of orange flame twisted with rippling boiling water that caught the fire-beast when it came at him again. He tugged the reins tight, and called it to _him_.

Quy yanked back; Khai drew heat from sunlight and forced his own magic into the flame dragon until his fire overwhelmed Quy’s. With a grunt, Khai threw the dragon right back at Quy.

Quy leapt, fire propelling his flight, right over the flame. Hands tugged, shaped, and he landed with a staff of flame, fire burning hungrily on both ends.

Khai ramped up the heat. The ground shimmered hot beneath them, air wavered. With a sharp yank, Khai buffeted Quy with hot air.

Quy raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

Khai blinked back, water merging with lava to make a crackling volatile mixture.

A beat later, Quy’s fire rose.

A beat later, Khai shifted forward, fire and water and earth hissing.

A beat later, Quy’s fire came down.

A beat later, Khai’s fire-in-fire surged up.

Explosion rocked the air.

*

Han raised an arm to brace against the heated air the blasted out. When he looked again, he realised that Yang hand thrown up an earth wall to block most of the blast.

“Can you see him?” he asked Yang breathlessly. Quy’s fire shook him.

“Who’s that?”

Han darted a glance towards Yang, and followed her gaze to the figure running towards the rubble and flames and smoke. “ _Shima_ ,” Han breathed. “Quy’s bodyguard! He’s a swordsman!” Han flinched again when _another_ blast of hot air whipped out. Smoke dissipated, and Han’s heart skipped a beat—

Lava flowed around Quy in semblance of a living cage; lava flowed around Khai in semblance of living armour.

Shima was heading towards _Khai_.

Han narrowed his eyes and stomped. A wall of earth shot up between Shima and Khai. Shima dropped one hand on the wall and vaulted right over.

Khai turned, and the earth wall became molten lava.

Han pressed forward, rising the earth higher. Yang raced past him, words on her lips, and in a smooth arc, Shima’s sword slid from its scabbard and into Yang’s waiting hand.

Khai shook his head. “I’m sorry, Shima,” he said, as a cage of lava weaved around him too.

Han hurried to Khai’s side. “Khai! You’re hurt!”

Khai shook his head dismissively, and turned to Quy.

“Does this constitute your defeat?” Khai said, fire underlacing his tone.

*

It felt as though Khai/Mai had the heat of the earth’s core at their side. With Quy’s arms pined down by lava, with Shima trapped…

Quy gritted his teeth. “Yes,” he forced out. “You may as well kill me now.”

Khai/Mai snorted. “No, Quy. I will let you go if you won’t attack me.”

Quy bristled. “Are you questioning my _honour_ after _losing_ to you?”

Khai/Mai shook their head. “Let me ask one thing of you, since I won.”

Quy narrowed his eyes. “What?” he hissed.

“My name is Khai. Call me by the right name.”

Quy met equally gold gaze, the fire still strong inside despite their battle. Consciously breathing, Quy inclined his head. “Very well. Khai.”

With that, the lava cooled and the bars of the cage receded back into the earth; the same was happening to Shima’s cage.

Quy sneered at Khai. “Let’s go, Shima,” he said roughly.

He turned his face away from the group of _peasants_ as Shima flanked his side.

 _One week until Lord Quyen arrives. One_ last _week until my life is_ over.

*

There was something wrong with Quy’s fire, Khai could _sense_ it. But words escaped him before he thought to call out to Quy, and by the time he realised, Quy and Shima had gone.

“He really _does_ look like you,” came Yang’s voice. She softened some earth and stuck the sword into the ground.

“You’re _hurt_ , Mai,” was Tien.

Khai immediately backed away from his aunt, wincing at the sudden movement, at the pain that flooded in now that he was _aware_ that there was pain to be felt. “I’ll do it myself,” he said tersely. He surveyed the Water Fountains around them, and winced. Cracked ground, rivers of cooling lava, and wet, muddy earth. “Oh. I—I need to fix this.”

Yang gave Khai an exasperated smile. “And we’ll help. But right now, you’re _hurt_.”

“That’s what I said,” Tien snapped. She hurried forward, placing a hand on Khai’s arm.

“And I can heal myself,” Khai said stubbornly, jerking away from Tien’s touch. The movement made him sway on his feet. He gave Han a smile when earth rose up into a seat.

Khai stretched out a hand, called sunlight to power him as he started to heal.

Tien pushed his hands away. “You’re _shaking_ ,” she frowned. “You could barely hold a steady flame. _I’m_ healing you.” She reached out, hovering a hand over an injury.

The brush of Tien’s magic made Khai flinch. He twisted out of her way despite the tears of pain springing to his eyes. “Get away from me! _I’m_ doing it myself. Han!”

*

Tien flinched at Mai’s dismissal. The boy-friend-earth-mage immediately moved the earth upon which Khai sat towards him and away from Tien, sloping it up for Mai to stand up again.

Inside, Tien’s fire flared up. “I’m your Teacher! Your master! Your aunt!” she snapped. “And I’m a healer! Stop right there, Mai. I _will_ heal you.”

Mai leveled a dark look. “And that’s _exactly_ why I won’t _let_ you! How can I even _trust_ you not to try some kind of mind-bending healing on me? My name is Khai, and _I’m not a girl!_ ”

Tien opened her mouth to retort, but she didn’t know what to say. Honestly, the thought of mind-bending healing right that moment hadn’t crossed her mind—though it _had_ when she first saw Mai dressed up like that earlier. Because there had to be something _off_. Mai hadn’t been like this back in Karashu.

Mai looked away. “I can see it in your eyes.” She turned to the boy, and to the approaching Yang. “I just need a fire to restore my strength.”

But Tien could see Mai _hurt_ , the burns red hot across her skin, scorched through her mens’ clothing. Tien was Mai’s teacher and aunt, she couldn’t in good conscience _leave_ it like that.

Tien gritted her teeth. “Then I won’t touch your mind. At least allow me to _aid_ you.”

“Do you give your word on your magic?” the boy called out.

“Yes.” She won’t touch Mai’s mind _right_ now.

Mai’s eyes were pained. She closed them. “Fine.”

Immediately, Tien headed over. She started with the leg injury first: it was the furthest from the head, and Tien needed to build some measure of _trust_ first. Burnt skin flaked away as flesh knitted itself back up and new skin emerged. Then, Tien moved to Mai’s arm, and finally her back.

As her magic moved through blood, through muscle, to heal Mai, Tien realised that this was the first time that Tien had ever healed Mai. Back in Karashu, Mai didn’t go around _fighting_ people.

Despite herself, Tien sunk her magic in deeper to bone. Mai’s growth plates weren’t nearly as fused as a typical girl her age. Furthermore, her bones were being _constantly_ maintained by her own healing magic, suggesting that they were weaker than typical.

Somehow, Mai had kept part of her puberty away, and her bones were suffering from it. Tien immediately reached out further towards—

“ _Stop!_ ” Mai pushed a hand away, stumbling away. Fire slashed between them, breaking Tien’s connection.

Tien blinked. “What have you done with your body?” she breathed. Now that Mai was facing her again, she could see that Mai was _too_ flat chested. Tien had thought it was just Mai’s physical inheritance; combined with the loose clothing, Tien hadn’t thought more about it.

But Mai had been forcing it that way. With magic and with cloth. For _years_.

Since back in Karashu.

“It’s my body.” Mai’s brows drew together and her lips went into a sad frown. “You don’t understand what it feels like.” She wrapped arms around herself.

“You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone,” Yang said firmly, resting a hand on Mai’s shoulder.

The boy wrapped an arm around Mai’s back. Mai flashed the boy and the woman a weak smile, and she stood taller, as though gaining strength from the two earth mages.

Envy and jealousy and dislike rose in Tien’s gut.

Under Tien’s hand, Mai’s fire had burned flickering, smoldering.

But now, Mai’s fire burned brightly, capturing those earth mages in the glow.

“You rather be _her_ daughter,” Tien lashed out.

“ _Son_ , if he wants to be,” Yang said.

 _Son_. Everyone thought Mai was a boy. Even _Mai_ did, in the way she looked towards Yang with wonder in her eyes.

But what if...Tien struggled. What if Mai was a boy like she—or _he_ —said?

“Auntie,” Mai said. “I really appreciate you taking me in. I am really grateful that you taught me healing, that you made me part of your family. And I understand that if you can’t accept me...then you should disown me.”

“I would never!” Tien said automatically.

“But you still think I’m Mai. I’m not.” Mai shook her head. “You have no niece named Mai. You have a nephew named Khai. Do you want me to stay as your nephew?”

The words were heavy with ultimatum. Tien opened her mouth, but no words came out. And she stared.

*

Khai maintained his gaze for as long as he could bear. But when his aunt said nothing, he sighed, and looked away.

“I thought so,” he said tiredly. “I must farewell you then, Healer Mage Tien. All the best your life. If there is any monetary compensation you wish from me, please detail so in a letter. Have a good day.” He bowed formally, and started walking away.

“Stop!”

Khai didn’t stop.

“Let us speak, Healer Tien,” he heard Yang say.

A beat later, Han was by his side. Han was shaking his head. “That was…”

Khai sighed.

“It makes my problems with my parents _tiny_ in comparison.”

Khai reached out for Han’s hand, and gave it a brief squeeze. “Hey. We’re not comparing problems. And you have _two_ parents. _And_ a sister. That multiplies your problems by _three_.”

Han snorted. “Ha, that’s too true. Where are we going?”

Khai sighed again. His wounds were healed, but they were still sore. And he wanted to go over them again _himself_. “I need fire. But some hot tea would do first.”

“Mr. Kiri would want an update,” Han said. “Assuming Thon hasn’t told him yet.”

“And...” Khai grimaced. “We still need to rebuild the Water Fountains.”

Han gave him an encouraging smile. “You’re _definitely_ not doing it alone.”

Warmth bloomed across Khai’s chest. “Okay.”


	11. Chapter 11

At the end of day—where the afternoon had been spent rebuilding the Water Fountains, the evening spend having dinner together—Yang drew Khai aside. “She won’t disown you,” she said.

Despite himself, Khai gave a breath of relief. His aunt hadn’t returned with Yang to Thon’s tea shop, and the feeling of not knowing where he stood with his aunt had plagued him.

“How did you get that licence?” Khai asked quietly.

Yang gave a mysterious smile. “Favours.”

Khai looked down. “Would it possible...to make _real_ papers in my name?”

Yang gave a slow nod. “It should be. If we could get your aunt’s testimony...in Karashu.”

Khai’s hopes fell. “Okay,” he said in a tiny voice. Shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I can transfer to Four Elements under my _girl_ papers just as well...”

Yang placed a solid hand on Khai’s shoulder. “We will _try_ , don’t worry, Khai. Is there anything else?”

 _Were you serious about adopting me?_ But instead, Khai shook his head.

Yang just smiled. “Have a safe trip home.”

*

Quy sat in front of the fire pit. It was night, the flames were the only source of light.

A money-silenced healer had attended to Quy’s burns. But those wounds were paltry compared to the wound on Quy’s spirit.

He had _lost_.

Somehow, from the moment Quy had seen _Khai_ , he had underestimated him. Failed to correctly assess Khai’s motivations and power.

And so he had _lost_.

He couldn’t be Lord Quyen’s son.

“Quy. Dinner?” came Shima’s voice from behind him.

“I will attend to it when I’m hungry.”

The sound of Shima’s sigh. Quy tensed when Shima stepped around to face him. Shima’s face was grave.

“You are rarely prone to quick violence,” he said.

Quy flinched and averted his gaze.

“And I have lost my honour since you got injured.”

“It was _not_ your fight, Shima. Your honour remains.” Quy sighed. “There is an open letter on my desk. I give you permission to read it.”

A short while later, Shima returned. And took the seat right next to Quy, instead of the one across the fire.

Quy shifted away.

“You should have sent _me_ to ask Khai for his aid.”

Quy jerked, stared at Shima. “ _Why?_ ”

“I would have protected you from any rejection. However, you do not understand Khai’s nature,” Shima said gravely. “He thanks me when I cook. He helps others without coin in return. Despite your shadowed beginnings, he would have helped you without condition.”

Quy snorted derisively. “Then he’s _stupid_. He would _never_ last in court.”

“He has never been in court,” Shima allowed. “But he has other qualities, and connections, that would help him survive if he ever entered. However, it is unlikely he would ever.”

Quy rolled his eyes. “And will he help _now_? I could offer him _gold_ , but he had even _returned_ over half of what I had given him in the first place.”

“There are those who find pleasure in helping,” Shima said. “Uncommon in the court, but Khai is in the right class and with enough power that he can afford to do so. Not everyone thinks like you.”

Quy curled his lip and sat up straighter. “Of course not.”

“And not everyone requires the same _motivation_.”

Shima met his gaze.

Quy did not _let_ himself look away. “Then why do _you_ help? I may pay you a wage, but you barely have _time_ to use it.”

“You had the greatest potential for growth. For something _different_. Could you blame me for following your flame?”

“ _Han_ doesn’t.”

Shima had a knowing smile. “Han has additional reasons for preferring Khai over you. Quy. Khai could _never_ replace you.” Shima’s expression became serious. “And you could never replace him. But you _can_ work together.”

“He’s a _commoner_.”

“All nobles were once commoners. And in the far future, they might be so again.”

Quy scowled, raising a hand to his eyes. “Let me _think_.”

“Dinner will be waiting for you. And I will follow.”

Quy’s throat threaten to close up as he forced the next words out. “Shima...thank you.”

Shima inhaled a little sharply. “...You’re welcome.”

*

Song _knew_ he was being stupid, waiting outside Immin University once again. How many times had Mai passed him by? Ginzan was busy talking with the other students.

Mai’s magic tugged at Song’s senses. His eyes narrowed in on her. She ignored him, once again.

Defeated, Song started back. Maybe he’d try asking _Han_ again. But there had been something odd going on between Han and Quy at Baashi for the last few days.

“What do you _want_?”

Song jerked back at the gold eyes.

“ _Song_ , stop coming to Immin,” Mai hissed.

“Mai. I just wanted to... _talk_. I still want to get to know you.”

Mai gave him a flat look. “We’ll do that when you call me by the right name, _Khai_.” She grabbed his robes and tugged him closer. “We’ll do that when you realise that I was _never_ Mai, even back then. And when you’re ready...talk to Han. And ask to come with him.”

With that, she threw him back and strode away.

“ _Her?_ ” Ginzan threw an arm around Song. “She’s a little mannish.”

Song shoved him off—Ginzan just floated and landed a distance away.

*

The next day, Song swallowed his pride and went up to Han as he was leaving Baashi.

Han gave him a suspicious look. “Khai warned me about you.”

Song closed his eyes briefly, recalling rehearsed words. He didn’t have to understand or believe them to _say_ them. “Yes. I want to speak to Khai...and learn more about him.”

Han’s stance eased up. “Very well. We meet at Thon’s tea shop.”

The place was unknown to Song: not a famous tea shop. Nonetheless, he followed Han down to the lower districts.

The houses were shabby, but they looked like they had been newly fixed; and mage fire lights started to glow as the sun’s rays dimmed, with winter approaching.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Kiri,” Han called out to an old non-mage sitting outside a tea shop.

“Another friend?” Kiri said, pining Song with a look.

Song bowed formally. “Of...Khai’s.”

“This is Song, son of Colonel Maru,” Han said. “He goes to Baashi. And he _thinks_ he knew Khai when they were at some orphanage together.”

Song darted him a glance. How much had... _Khai_ told Han about their past?

Kiri leaned back in his chair. “Take a seat, Young Song,” he said. “Oi! Thon! Fetch me some tea for a new guest!”

“Ugh, fine, old man!” came a shout from inside the shop.

Han grinned at Mr Kiri. “I should have known,” he said, slipping into a chair next to Kiri.

Song took the chair furthest from Kiri. “Yes. Imagine my surprise to see _Khai_...here in Taesu instead of our home town.”

“And what are your intentions with Healer Khai?” Kiri added, hidden steel in his words.

 _Does_ he _know Mai’s past?_

“To reconnect,” Song said shortly. “This is between me and her—him.”

Han stiffened and glared at him.

Song winced. The moment he had thought of Khai as _Mai_ , the _her_ had just slipped out. And if he slipped up in front of Mai herself— _himself_ —

 _Not good_.

“Well, here _he_ is,” Han said abruptly, standing up. “Khai! Good afternoon!”

 _Khai_ was walking down the street, gold eyes without the danger as he looked at Han. Those eyes tightened when they landed on Song.

Song got to his feet as well. “Good afternoon, Khai.”

Khai glanced at Han, and then looked back at Song again. “Good afternoon, Song.”

“ _More_ mages from Baashi?” a young man complained, emerging out of the tea shop with a tray.

“Be polite, Thon,” Kiri chided.

“I’ll be when you are, old man,” Thon retorted. He placed the tray on the table and served tea. “Here you are, old man.”

Song leaned closer to Khai as Khai approached the table. “I would prefer to speak with you privately.”

“Anything that I _want_ to share can be done in front of Han and Mr. Kiri,” Khai said firmly.

And so, it was with careful words that Song asked what Khai was doing down in the districts, how he learnt healing, how he learnt fighting.

 _He’s_ really _not who I thought she was_ , Song slowly realised, as Khai spoke of the training he had done with a mage instructor, as he spoke of combing healing patterns of magic to combat, and the reverse.

The orphanage had been long ago, almost _two decades_. Back then, no one had known that Mai was a mage. The current day was far removed from the past, where Song had to protect Mai from older, bigger bullies. And that wasn’t something he could reconnect with Khai about. Back then, they had been friends of circumstance alone.

 _What would it be like if_ I _knew that I was a man, and yet everyone kept arguing otherwise?_

And yet, Khai had lived that. His entire _life_ , until he came to Taesu.

“Thank you for your company,” Song said, when Khai finished. “But I should get going, rather than delay your task down here, Healer Khai.”

“You didn’t speak of yourself,” Khai said. “Will there be a next time?”

Song got to his feet. “I hope so.”

Khai nodded, giving his permission. “You now know where to find _me_.”

Song nodded, and found himself smiling when Khai smiled.

“Good. We’ll be here,” Khai said.

“Do you often make friends with people you defeat in battle?” Han mumbled.

Khai laughed, a bright sound. “No, I don’t think so,” he said to Han, grinning. His face calmed down when he looked back at Song.

In the intervening weeks, Khai had become even _closer_ to Han than they had been at Baashi. Song was an old, forgotten acquaintance just made anew. But maybe in the future, they would be good friends.

“All the best,” Song said sincerely. “Until next time.” And he departed, lighter in his steps.

*

“And if they _strike_ me on sight?” Quy muttered.

“If you appear at Khai’s apartment, he would do more than that,” Shima said reasonably.

Quy took a deep breath. “I _know_.”

He was approaching Khai when he was in company of two earth mages for a _reason_. To show that he was _not_ here to fight.

Quy took another breath, and calmed his fire. The rougher-than-usual clothing chafed him. _But for good cause_.

He stepped out onto the main street. “Good afternoon, Healer Mage Khai,” he called out. Shima followed a step after.

Khai was already turning. His hands spread out.

Quy stopped.

“...Good afternoon, Mage Quy, Swordsman Shima.”

Quy took a deep breath, and forced his flames lower. He inclined his head. “I came requesting your assistance, Mage Khai.”

Khai slowly walked towards him. “What of it?” His eyes scanned over Quy’s body. “...I’m glad you’re healed.”

Quy sucked in a breath at Khai’s honest tone. “I dueled you because...I needed your help.”

Khai raised his eyebrows. “Fighting practice?”

Quy’s eyes dipped down.

 _No! If I ask him, I need to do so with conviction_. Quy straightened and looked Khai straight in the eye. “I need to learn how to create lava and manipulate it. And _you_ are the only one I know who can do so.”

“There are spells. If you search Baashi’s library—” Khai started, frowning a little.

“And what long-worded spells do _you_ use?” Quy said sharply.

Unexpectedly, a faint smile came across Khai’s face. “It is an adapted healing technique.”

Han strode up to Khai’s side. “This is the first I’ve heard of this,” he said, levelling a surprisingly steady gaze at Quy, instead of quaking in his boots. “Why?”

 _Under the protection of Khai’s fire_.

“My reasons are not to be spoken in such a public forum,” Quy said, flashing a dark look at Han, just to see him quail, a little.

 _Heh. I still have it_.

Khai stepped closer and closer towards Quy until they stood face to face. Looking at Khai this close made Quy’s brain hurt, like seeing a mirror un-reversed image of himself.

Khai’s voice was quiet like embers. “Is this about the disruption in your fire? I sensed it, when we fought. There is something troubling you.”

Through years of practice, Quy _didn’t_ flinch. Through seeing Shima in the corner of his eye, Quy didn’t immediately deny Khai’s accusation.

 _Not accusation. Think of him...as a too-aware healer_.

“Will you help me?” he asked instead.

“Yes. Will you tell me why?”

Quy gave him a dry look. “It is due to something you did at Baashi. My _father_ heard of your ability to _create_ lava where there was none. He wishes for a demonstration...this Saturday.”

“You didn’t choose your father. Just as I didn’t choose my aunt,” Khai said.

Quy remained silent.

“Saturday...that’s hardly enough time. But then, you _are_ strong. Magical reserves will not be a problem.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “There is healing that I need to catch up on.” Gold eyes flickered to him. “It would be good for you to watch how the technique works before it’s adapted to things not alive.”

At that, Quy inclined his head, acceding. “Very well.”

*

Quy struggled not to speak out.

“In most healing, the body _knows_ what to do, and it _knows_ what it was before the injury, the sickness,” Khai was saying as his hands moved magic through the patient. “A Healer Mage _reminds_ the body of what it once was, nudging it to return to a healthy state faster.”

Khai’s magic seemed to move through the patient in pulses, like that of the heartbeat.

Khai shot Quy a look. “Go outside, take some fresh air.”

Quy smoothly rose to his feet and did just that. A few minutes later, Khai emerged, and silently, the two of them headed to an abandoned rocky square.

“Calling lava is the same,” Khai said, moving in stance. “The earth here was once, long ago, inside the earth. The earth here _knows_ lava, knows the magma from which it came. To create lava, you _remind_ the earth of what it once was...and you help it along by applying sufficient heat to make it so.”

Quy followed Khai’s form, reaching out with his magic.

“Go deep,” Khai said quietly. “Go down to the magma. If you know what that feels like, it is easier to remind the earth on the surface.”

“Why don’t you just call _that_ magma up?” Quy said.

Khai blinked. “Time, for one,” he said, frowning. “Magma lives far below the surface. In a combat situation, there is not _time_ for the movement of liquid fire earth from so far away.”

“Then, have it near the surface and _ready_.”

“For an eruption? For an earthquake? You’d have to constantly maintain it, or only have it on hand for scheduled duels.”

Quy’s lips tightened, and he bowed his head, conceding. He calmed down his magic and tried again, feeling the fire-that-is-magma, and then comparing it with the sense of the dead rocks around him.

But the most he could feel of the rocks was the warmth from the sun, not some aeons-old once-was-lava.

Annoyed, Quy slashed down fire. What little plants burnt to cinders.

“We have hardly started,” Khai said.

“If these rocks were ever once lava, well, they _don’t remember it!_ ” Quy said sharply. He shot out a stream of flame at a rock, ramping up the heat. “Why won’t it just _melt?_ ”

“I always form the lava underground _first_ ,” Khai said. With a swept of his hands, Quy’s fire dissipated, leaving a solid cherry-red-glowing rock. “The lava needs a measure of _pressure_ to form. However...”

“ _What?_ ” he snapped. A beat later, Quy remembered that Khai was here to _help_ him. But he _wouldn’t_ apologise.

“In _most_ healing, the body remembers.”

Quy shifted his stance a little away. “So you said...”

Khai’s eyes glinted, a grin at the corner of his mouth. “And what if it _doesn’t_ remember? In that case, we enforce a pattern of health that _we_ know. Quy, _study thoroughly_ how the lava beneath the earth moves. How the fire in that rock moves. And then, use your magic and your _will_ to impose that pattern upon the earth in the sunlight. Perhaps you are more suited to a more direct fight.”

Quy snorted. “Of course. I’m a combat mage.” He found a nice flat surface and sat down. And cast his magic down into the ground.

*

Having another fire mage around was pleasant, Khai had to admit, as he kept one eye on Quy. Their magic hummed with the same sparking, the same flicker of safe-and-dangerous.

Personally, Khai was feeling pretty pleased with himself for coming up with a second method to create lava, though he would have to test it personally to see which one was faster, and which was suited to different types of earth.

Quy’s eyes opened. “I’m ready.”

Khai gave a small smile. “Then let’s begin.”

*

Quy stood stiffly in ceremonial clothing. Shima was a few paces backed, dressed in more muted clothing.

Saturday, and Lord Quyen, had come too quickly, but Quy had _trained_ hard with Khai for the last few days, first with lava, and then with the moves of the presentation itself. He _knew_ he could do it.

He kept his breath even as he greeted Lord Quyen, and the Prince that his father was accompanying.

Paradoxically, he felt _better_ when his display begun, as he moved through the forms, of bladed weapons of fire, to the creation of lava, to the manipulation of lava as he slashed his swords.

He _did_ know what he was doing. Khai had _helped_ him. And Quy knew that he himself was a more than capable fire mage.

And with an exhale, Quy let his weapons fade in sparks, and the earth return as though it was never lava in the first place.

Polite clapping came from around him. The prince beckoned from his special seating area, and so Quy stepped forward.

“Truly wondrous,” the prince said. “I would hope to see you in the Capital City in the near future. Perhaps in an internship, as your brother.”

Quy bowed. “Thank you, your highness.”

“A good display, my son,” Lord Quyen said, expression barely changing.

Despite that, a happiness spread across Quy’s chest. He bowed again. “Thank you, Father.”

With that, Quy headed off the main stage, to a private area. He let out his breath in a rush. He composed his face again when he heard footsteps.

“Quy,” Shima said. “That was very good. You are one of the are fire mages who handles fire directly. And of them, the only who can call lava in your manoeuvres. You have put me out of a job,” he added, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

Quy’s mouth dropped open. _Oh._ The happiness and satisfaction from Shima’s words, from Shima’s direct gaze, looking at _him_ , Quy, not at second-son-of-mine the way Lord Quyen had looked.

“ _Thank you_.” Deep breath. “I should tell Khai...and thank him for his help once again.”

And Shima smiled.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Yang’s words echoed in Tien’s mind. About _respect_ and _truth_ and _Khai_.

And so, for the entire week, Tien had stayed away from her niece-turned-nephew.

But Tien couldn’t stay at Taesu indefinitely: she had _duties_ back in Karashu. She needed to return. Before that, she needed to speak with her niece-turned-nephew.

With words and rumours of Healer Khai around with the other Healers, Tien knew where to find him. The lower districts.

It was near noon when Tien arrived, at a time very similar to when she came the previous week to find her niece associating with an unknown man.

When she arrived this time, she found Healer Khai in company of even _more_ men: the same young earth mage, two _other_ earth mages, a swordsman, and a fire mage who looked like he could have been Khai’s twin.

_Long lost kin?_

Yang’s words echoed in Tien’s mind again. About _respect_ and _truth_ and _Khai_.

“Good morning, Khai,” Tien said, forcing the name from her lips.

Khai-previously-Mai stood up. “Auntie, good morning,” he-she said, bowing formally. “Everyone, this is my adopted aunt, Healer Mage Tien, of Karashu.”

Tien inclined her head.

One by one, Khai introduced the other men: earth mages Han, Raah and Jin, swordsman Shima, and fire mage Quy. More friends than Mai had ever had, back in Karashu.

Tien had hoped that Khai would gain some nice female friends by attending Immin University. Instead, she had gained a harem of men.

“I met them at Baashi University,” Khai was saying.

Tien smiled thinly. “Did you met Song, son of Colonel Maru there as well?”

Khai had a faint, mysterious smile. “Yes. Yang said she talked to you.” Khai nudged Tien and the two of them walked a distance away from the men.

“How are you, auntie?” Mai’s voice was soft and feminine.

Tien sighed. “What did I do wrong, Mai? Do you hate me so much as to become a man?”

Mai stiffened, voice pitched low, “What you did wrong—was forcing me stay a _girl,_ and forcing your outdated notions of what girls and boys should _be_. It’s not about _you,_ auntie. I have known for a long time. I’ve been behind your back from Karashu.” Gold eyes met Tien’s. “Yang said otherwise but...will you disown me upon returning to Karashu?”

Tien flinched at the implication. “No. You will _always_ be my apprentice, and I your master. That cannot be changed.”

Mai’s shoulder’s relaxed a fraction. “There are too few male healers. But you taught me, and for that, I am extremely thankful.”

 _Right. She calls herself Khai_.

“Auntie. There is one thing I want to ask of you.”

Tien inclined her head. “Yes?”

“When you get back to Karashu...would you help certify changes in my papers?”

Tien tensed. _Papers...to change her name. And her gender._ “I...I must meditate on it.”

In an inhale, Khai’s fire roared. In the exhale, Khai’s fire simmered as embers.

Tien was starkly reminded of Khai’s fight with Quy just a week ago. Not the power—she had _seen_ the some of the ways Khai drew fire in his healing. But the sharp precision in attack, the movements that spoke of long training.

Had Tien been so blinded that she missed Mai’s transformation? How could she have missed Mai’s transformation into a violent _fighter?_

Khai sighed. “Will you stay a little while longer for lunch?”

 _This_ was ground Tien could stand on. “No. I must depart for Karashu. It has been...good...to see you. Khai.”

Tien inhaled sharply when a sincere smile appeared on Khai’s face, and when the _sense_ of Khai’s magic became like warm sunlight.

Khai lowered his head. “It has been good to see you too, Auntie.”

“I expect you to visit during your winter break,” Tien said.

Khai nodded. “I will, Auntie.”

“Good.” Tien cast an eye over the other men. “Stay safe. Study. And...have a good time with your new friends.”

And with that, Tien departed.

*

Han only relaxed once Khai’s aunt went away. He didn’t quite like the way she’d looked at Khai.

Though, to be fair, Han didn’t quite like the way most people looked at Khai.

Han had _joked_ when he said that Khai tended to make friends with people he had defeated. Except that it was a little too true. And _Quy_ was case-in-point; even Shima, in some sense.

And it explained why Khai was making friends with Song; but _not_ Song’s friend, Ginzan, since it was _Quy_ who had defeated him.

“Relax, Han,” Raah said, eyeing him. “No one’s going to jump out an attack you.”

“It’s not _me_ I’m worried about,” Han muttered.

“But you’re the weakest of us,” Raah said.

Han scowled. “Maybe we should fight again just to see—”

“Everything alright?” Khai slipped into the seat next to Han, lips in a curious grin.

Han felt his cheeks heat up. “No!” He poked at the pile of metal and sand and glass that they had been messing around with. “Why are _Jin’s_ glass things better than mine?”

Jin glared at him. “Perhaps I’m just _better_ at this.”

“You simply need more training,” Quy said mildly. “Shall I find you an earth mage trainer?”

Han eyed Quy a little warily. “That’s kind of you to offer, but unnecessary.” He gave a pointed looked at Raah. “There are enough earth mages that point out _all_ my tiny flaws. And if I wanted to get better at forming glass, I would ask Yang. _She’s_ even better than you.”

Quy had a thoughtful look. “Yes. Mage Yang. I unfortunately have not being able to speak with her the last time we met.”

 _Understatement of the year_ , Han rolled his eyes.

“Well, shall we meet now?” came Yang’s voice. “Would you like to have lunch at Thon’s tea shop?”

Han jumped to his feet. “Yes, please.”

That was how they found themselves clustered around tables outside Thon’s tea shop. Mr. Kiri was there, telling his stories to a _new_ victim Jin; Yang, with her son Minh next to her, spoke with Quy and Shima, and Han sat in-between Raah and Khai.

“Do you want to go to the rock gardens after this?” Han asked.

Raah snorted. “He’s a _fire_ mage.”

“But he _can_ manipulate lava! That’s liquid rock!” Han protested.

Khai hummed. “Perhaps you should learn how to manipulate lava as well,” he said thoughtfully. “A different technique, but we could figure it out...”

“Mother, there he is! I _knew_ it! He’s not studying at all!” His sister’s voice, all too familiar.

Han’s stomach felt as heavy as rock. He turned to see his little sister, mother, _and_ father approaching.

“And with the _boyfriend_ again,” his sister teased.

“Han,” his mother said, eyes sharp.

“Is this where you spend your time, son?” his father said, looking around with a polite expression.

Khai’s fingers gripped Han’s, tight.

Han’s resolve fired up. He gave Khai a reassuring smile, and stood up. “Since you are all here, why don’t I introduce to you my companions, Mother, Father, Mian?”

“Are they _all_ your boyfriends?” Mian asked curiously in that bright false innocence that Han knew well from his little sister.

“Quiet, daughter,” Ta hissed. She gave Mian a glare

Han suppressed a smile. “Everyone, this is my family; father Lang, mother Ta, and little sister Mian. And these are my friends—Mage Yang, Mr. Kiri, Mage Raah, Mage Jin, Healer Mage Khai, Swordsman Shima, and Mage Quy.”

Lang’s eyes immediately sharpened. “Quy, son of Lord Quyen, I presume.”

Quy stood up and nodded. “Indeed. Despite being a fire mage, even I have heard of the precious stones you trade in, Merchant Lang.”

Han shot him a look. _Okay, how did he know that? And_ why _did he learn that?_

Quy smirked back at him.

 _...I’m glad he’s on_ our _side now._

“I would like to speak with you, privately,” Ta said.

Han went up easily to her. “Yes, mother?”

Ta’s tone lowered. “What did I say about associating with _riff-raff?_ Why have you bought those nobles down _here_? You could have entertained them elsewhere! With different company!”

“Mother, they are _not_ rubbish. They’re my _friends_.” He leaned closer. “I _do_ study. I _understand_ what Father has given me, for me to go to Baashi University. I owe my life to you, Mother. But I do not owe all my _time_ to you, as you do not spend your time with _me_ , but rather with my sister. And _I don’t mind_ , because I have _others_.”

Ta flinched. “How _dare_ you—”

Han sighed. “I do, Mother. I’m an earth mage, and I’m your son. We are as stubborn as each other when it comes to what _we_ feel is right.”

The two of them stared at each other.

“How curious that you look remarkably similar to Healer Khai,” Lang was saying to Quy.

Han broke the stare.

“Yes,” Quy said. “An interesting point for my first meeting with Healer Khai, which led to my meeting with Han and the others.”

Lang had a calculating look. “I see. Well, Quy, I am grateful for your continued support for my son, Han,” he said, bowing formally.

“You’re welcome, Merchant Lang.”

“Look at me when I’m speaking,” Ta said crisply.

Han turned his attention back. “Yes, mother?”

“I want you _home_ after this.”

“I’m an _adult_ , Mother.”

“And what of your _duty_? You are my first-born son!”

Han winced. “You should cancel any marriage plans with a girl.”

Ta’s nostrils flared. “You have been with a girl without my knowledge?! What is her background?”

Han narrowed his eyes. “No. I met...a fire mage who defeated me in battle.”

Ta’s eyes darted past Han. “ _Quy_ , son of Lord Quyen?”

Nervousness bubbled in Han’s stomach, but his words were clear. “No. The one who looks alike.”

“...The _Healer_.”

“Very respectable, is it not?”

“If he were a _woman_ ,” Ta hissed.

_Khai was born a girl. But he’s not anymore. He never was..._

“Little sister is right,” Han said. The nervousness was bubbling up Han’s chest. “I like a man. He is my age, yet already an accomplished healer. What more can he become in the future?”

Ta withdrew. “You let your _preferences_ overcome your duty?”

“Let me carry out my duty as _I_ see it, Mother.”

“That _Yang_ has put thoughts in your head, hasn’t she?”

“She used to babysit me,” Han protested. “ _You_ hired her.”

“That was _before_ she became a single mother!”

Han narrowed his eyes. “She is honourable. She has _respect_. And she deserves my respect. This is _my_ choice, Mother. I don’t know how to convince you. I don’t know how to make you trust me. But at some point, you have to let me make my own way.”

“We will speak about this further...at home.”

“And if I move out?” Han countered.

“Where?”

“There are many people who would take me.”

“ _Yang_?” Ta snorted.

Han kept a steady gaze.

With a frown, his mother tossed her head. “Husband, if we may depart?” Ta called out. “Or else we will miss our appointment for lunch.”

Lang’s heavy gaze landed upon Han. “Very well.” He came over, squeezing Han’s shoulder briefly. “Good.”

“They’re my _friends_ ,” Han said steadily. “No deals required.”

For a brief moment, Lang frowned, disapproval writ across his face.

But his friends were behind him. He didn’t _need_ his father’s approval.

“I will see you at home later,” Lang finally said.

Han nodded. “Yes, Father.” He remained standing until his family was out of sight. Then he sighed, and smiled, and turned back to Khai and the others.

“You’re unsettled.” Khai’s gold gaze was piercing.

Han breathed deeply and just shrugged. “It’s normal.”

“What did you speak about?”

Han remembered...and promptly went red. “Oh, just things she’s talked with me multiple times before. Come on, we haven’t finished lunch yet.” For now, he ignored Khai’s concerned look. It wasn’t something they could broach in public.

*

Quy pulled Khai aside some time later. “How could I repay you, _really_?”

Khai blinked at him. Shook his head. “We’re friends now. There is no need to repay anything.”

But the sense of debt remained. Quy’s pressed his lips together. There had to be something— _Ah. Shima found where Khai was staying…_ “Come back, then. Your bedroom in the house is still there. The house is too big for just myself and Shima.”

“You mean it?” A flicker of pleasant surprise.

Quy exhaled and nodded. “Yes.”

Khai’s eyes crinkled in a smile. “Then consider this repayment.” He held out a hand.

Quy gripped his hand back, and a wave of fire passed between them. Friendly, instead of threatening.

“But, I _will_ defeat you one day,” Quy said.

Khai nodded seriously. “You will. And then I’ll defeat you again.”

Quy gave a surprised smile. “Indeed.”

Something else came up in his mind. “Let’s invite Han over for dinner one day.”

Khai’s eyes narrowed. “Why not the others?”

Quy smirked. “Invite them too, then. But Han will stay behind. There are no parents in _our_ house.”

Khai’s cheeks reddened. “We’ll see,” he said stiffly in a poise that Quy saw right through. “I’ll ask Shima if he would be willing to cook.”

*

Invitations dispensed, friends gathered, Khai and Han ended up helping Shima cook dinner for the Baashi company of Quy, Raah and Jin. Unsurprisingly, they were the ones with cooking experience: Khai had learnt from Tien, and Han had had to cook his own dinner many times before.

Han’s willingness to cook made Khai thoughtful. Hypothetically, he wouldn’t mind that in a friend. Or partner.

“I think those noble-types are plotting something out there,” Han muttered.

Khai laughed. “With Quy, perhaps so.”

“Speaking poorly of my charge?” Shima challenged.

Han gave an _erk_ , but Khai just grinned back. “You know better than I.”

Shima momentarily bowed his head. “Too true. Let’s bring this food out.”

They did so, and now Khai was unsurprised that Quy and the others had seated him right next to Han.

“Hey, Khai, what’s up with Song?” Jin said innocently. “He’s been hanging out with you more often lately.”

“He seemed intent on you when you were still at Baashi,” Raah mused. “Childhood friends, of sorts, weren’t you?”

Khai sighed when he felt Han tense up beside him.

“We were children, friends of circumstance,” Khai said. “And he has made it quite clear that he’s not into men, if any of _you_ were thinking of it.”

Jin choked. “What? No! We meant—”

“Khai and Song are just friends,” Han said out.

Quy smirked.

Khai gave Quy an unimpressed look.

“Very good,” Quy said. “My brother is returning to town in a few days. Khai, would you like to dress up as me again?” There was a glint in his eye.

Khai raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Han leaned forward. “At _Baashi_?”

Quy waved a negligent hand. “No. Here, or somewhere else. I have not seen my older brother for a while. We should see if he remembers. Especially if we...exchange a little magic, just to mix it up.”

“Then he would know, eventually, that I exist,” Khai pointed out.

Quy inclined his head. “Since I met you in public previously, I have made my position clear. We know each other.”

Khai snorted. “Alright then.”

The conversation moved onto other matters. But as Quy had predicted, Raah and Jin left first, and Han remained.

“I will be in my room,” Quy said. “I’m a little tired.”

“If you excuse me, I shall clean up, and retire to bed myself,” Shima said.

Khai gave them deadpan looks. “Then Han and I will be in the living room.”

“I could leave...” Han said uncertainly.

Khai shook his head. “For once, we might have the chance to speak privately without being interrupted.”

Han ducked his head. “R-right.”

In the living room, Khai lit the fire pit with a wave of his hand. He and Han took the same lounge.

“I told my mother I was gay,” Han said abruptly.

Khai’s eyes immediately landed upon him. “You didn’t have to—what did she say?”

Han hunched forward. “How many parents _like_ finding that out? Especially when I talked back to her about _duty_.”

“I don’t think I’ve told my aunt about that yet,” Khai admitted. “With the _gender_ thing and all...”

“About that...”

Khai stiffened. “Yes?”

Han turned and looked at him directly. “It matters, in that it’s part of you. But I’d still follow you. You’re still _Khai_.” His cheeks went red, eyes darting away. “So, my fantasies of you might look a little different, but it’s still _you_.”

The air in the room was suddenly very hot—or was that just Khai’s ears? Han’s magic responded, building up steady and solid.

A fight, that, Khai could do. He pushed Han down on the couch until he sprawled out, and leaned over him, knees between Han’s legs. “It changes a _lot_ of things, doesn’t it?”

Han licked his lips. His legs shifted, bracketing Khai’s hips. “But we’re mages, aren’t we? Can’t we...you know... _make_ things?”

The sheer _idea_ of it made Khai grin. “You’re not feeling jealous about Song, are you?”

“...Why are you mentioning him right _now_?” Han pouted. The image was so comical—Khai just _had_ to bend down to kiss those lips. Slow heat moved between them.

“Better?”

Han panted. “Are fire mages always so hot?”

“You’re playing with _lava_ , Han.”

“Good thing you’re going to teach me how, right?”

Khai gave him a fond smile. “Yes, I am.”

  


  


  


# The End

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was inspired by the likes of Kenka Bancho Otome: Love's Battle Royale, with a touch of Alanna by Tamora Pierce. The magic system is reminiscent of Avatar: the Last Airbender, and of Embers by Vathara in particular; and there was a touch of ambient-style magic from Circle of Magic series by Tamora Pierce.
> 
> And thanks for reading!


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